The Burn Cookbook is Here in Case You’re Still Trying to Make “Fetch” Happen

Real recipes to feed your inner plastic.

Mean Girls was one of those films that transcended time, gender, race, age, and just about any other social division one could imagine, for its poignant, biting and scarily accurate take on high school life, and the ways in which girls talk about and treat each other when the gloves of social grace are cast to the side.

Narrated by the naive Cady (played by a pre-beleaguered Lindsay Lohan), who is thrust into the brutal ebb and flow of an all-American high school after a peaceful upbringing in Africa where she was previously homeschooled, the flawless script (penned by the inimitable Tina Fey) shone a light on the animalistic ways of human nature, and how they are seemingly exaggerated during our formative years, especially for girls.

And especially for Mean Girls.

A sleeper hit, Mean Girls has evolved from a box office hit to a meme of the post-MSN, pre-facebook generation, and served as a unifying piece of commentary for a world that wanted more depth than Clueless.

burn cookbook funny people

Now, fourteen years since its cinematic release, teen heartthrob Aaron Samuels (real name Jonathan Bennett) is out to prove that while he may suck at math, he sure makes a damn fine chef (or, at least, knows the value of a decent pun). The Burn Cookbook is the actor-slash-model’s foray into the world of publishing, and riding on the coattails of his most famous role, but we suspect he’s totally fine with that.

With a foreword by Lacey Chabert (who played Gretchen Weiners, and probably knows about food; her father did invent toaster strudel), The Burn Cookbook–an obvious parody of the film’s most dangerous non-human element: The Burn Book–is filled with recipes that draw on the film’s most famous lines, as well as a few escoteric references for die-hard fans.

A step-by-step guide for “Fetch-uccine Alfredo”, “You Go, Glenn (Hot) Cocoa”, and “Just Stab Caesar Salad” are dished up alongside anecdotes from the set, and endless puns related to Mean Girls (#meangrills, anybody?).

Whether you’re an art freak, sexually active band geek, AV jock, cool asian, mathlete, plastic or prep, get on board and eat your feelings with something from The Burn Cookbook. It’s, like, the rules of feminism.

And remember that on Wednesdays, we wear pink.

Check it out