Well, the first Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey trailer is finally here and it looks every bit as appalling as we suspected it would be. Possibly even worse. In fact, it’s so bad it’s a must-watch. While we were hoping this might be an entertainingly subversive ride into a dark reimagining of the iconic children’s characters, instead it just looks like a generic slasher horror movie with some set dressing designed to cause controversy.
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The trailer opens with Christopher Robin – a very English character played with a strangely non-English accent by British/Ukrainian actor Nikolai Leon – bringing his fiancée home to the Hundred Acre Wood to meet friends Winnie-the-Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore. Instead, they find a makeshift headstone that says “R.I.P Eeyore” and a Pooh Bear and Piglet who’ve gone murderously feral in Robin’s absence.
Some pretty amateur horror thrills appear to follow as portly men in odd-looking (in a disturbing kind of way) Pooh and Piglet masks start killing random women who’ve taken up residence in a nearby home – the trailer doesn’t make it entirely clear how these poor souls are connected to Robin and his bride to be.
It all looks very cheap and nasty, although for all we know that could give it a gritty realism that works in the film’s favour. Perhaps a sequel in which Tigger goes on a rampage could follow – Pooh’s striped friend is sadly absent from this first instalment as he’s yet to pass into the public domain.
Whether the film is good or not, director Rhys Waterfield has certainly put his name on the map with his bloody reimagining of A.A. Milne’s beloved characters. We can’t help but wonder how Milne would feel about being credited as a writer on this dreck, even if it’s in the capacity of “characters from the book by”.
While Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey is yet to have its launch date announced, we find it hard to imagine it’ll be enjoying a wide cinematic release. Instead, keep an eye out on your local streaming services, because it’s far more likely to wind up at the bottom of a shlock-horror rabbit hole than down at your local multiplex.