This Aussie ‘WAP’ Parody ‘Cheap Ass Schoey’ is a Banger

By Elliot Nash - News Published: 23 Oct 2020, Last Updated: 2 Jul 2023

Fair Dinkum! Cheap Ass Schoey may, in fact, be the greatest parody of Cardi B’s female sex anthem WAP (well, up there with Zane’s parody below), and if you don’t believe me, then check it out the music video put together by an ensemble of some of Australia’s greatest local comedians. Move over hoes; there’s some drunks in this pub now.

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Are you feigning for a beer to make that sober game weak? One with extra carbs and extra-large? Yeah, Nah? Well, whatever excuse you need for a cheap ass schoey from your local, why not skull the whole thing while you listen to Neel Kolhatkar’s rendition of Cardi B’s WAP and taste that beer from the tip of your tongue right to the back of your throat.

Captured from the inside of a local Aussie pub, Neel, alongside internet comedy darlings Frenchy, Tom, Shak, Demitra, and the RoundABoutCrew. Usually tasked with indie films and wedding videos, Steve and his team set out to capture the epitome of Australian music and culture.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDx7USzBOCD/

With clever lines like, “I’ve only got five bucks, I need a cheap ass schoey,” and “froth on me noes, my dear moustache,” it’s clear these boys know a thing or two about drinking beer. While we don’t recommend making a scene with public drinking like Neel, perhaps you should take Frenchy’s advice if you’re “dripping like Cardi B” before needing to “break the seal.”

And hell, just like Cardi B, if beer were c*m he’d suck that d*ck too. Just don’t spend all your Centrelink on those cheap ass schoeys.

Elliot Nash

Elliot Nash is a journalist and content producer from Sydney with over five years’ experience in the digital media space. He holds a Bachelor of Communications (Media Arts & Production) from the University of Technology Sydney and a Diploma of Screen & Media from the Northern Sydney Institute of TAFE. Specialising in pop culture, news & current affairs, photography, audio and hi-fi, Elliot’s work has featured in 9News.com.au, 7NEWS.com.au, Next Luxury, Alive Radio and WhistleOut. He currently works as a Context Executive at Yoghurt Digital.

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