You Can Win Mars Bars With Your Weirdest Google Searches

Sure, lists of the most popular Google searches are all very well, but what we’re really into are weird searches. The one-in-a-billion oddities that people type into Google in a quest to solve very specific problems. Like “what does burning hair smell like” or “how to get horse blood out of lederhosen”.

In an attempt to celebrate weird searches, and encourage us all to be as strange as we can be when online, Google and Mars have teamed up to launch two initiatives: first, a list of the weirdest questions Australians have googled this year; and second, Sticky Searchuations, a promotion miraculous in its bizarre simplicity.

It works like this: there’s a year’s supply of Mars Bars (how many that is, they don’t specify – depends on your personal Mars Bars needs I guess) waiting for anyone who can come up with a uniquely odd problem for Google to solve. If you can type a “how to” query into Google, and it’s the first time anyone has asked that particular question, you win that candy! Beautiful, isn’t it?

So, get googling, weirdoes! Here’s that list of the 20 weirdest questions googled this year, so you can avoid these ones from the get-go:

  1. How to escape quicksand?
  2. How to escape Michael Buble songs?
  3. How to survive an apocalypse?
  4. How to go to the bathroom without my kids?
  5. How to get a new identity?
  6. How to delete emojis from my mum’s phone?
  7. How to block numbers?
  8. How to repair Faberge eggs?
  9. How to beat Fortnite addiction?
  10. How to get mattress out of pool?
  11. How to get slime out of clothing?
  12. How to win back my wife/husband?
  13. How to stop time?
  14. How to salvage a burnt Christmas lunch?
  15. How to win an argument that you’re losing?
  16. How to eat a year’s worth of Mars Bars?
  17. How to pronounce Pinot Grigio?
  18. How to order wine without looking uncultured?
  19. How to stop call centres from calling me?
  20. How to be taller?

I really hope those searching no. 2 found what they were looking for.