You know how when you’re a kid, you dream of one day getting a job that is so perfect it’s actually ludicrous to conceive of? Like “head kitten cuddler” or “President of Thinking Up Names For New Superheroes”? Well, guess what? Turns out sometimes those jobs actually exist.
Brace yourselves: Domino’s Pizza has advertised for a chief garlic bread taste tester.
That is correct. Here in 2019, you can get paid to eat garlic bread.
What’s next: Captain Snooze will look to hire an executive sleeper?
The garlic bread taster job is advertised thusly by Domino’s:
You butter believe it! We’re looking for someone a little bit crunchy, but mostly warm and soft on the inside, to help taste test our World-Famous Garlic Breads at Domino’s Headquarters in Brisbane.
OK, so whoever gets the job can’t expect a high level of humour in the workplace, but that’s hardly a dealbreaker when you’re making a living eating garlic bread. In fact, the job’s so good, even being based in Brisbane seems worth it.
Other requirements of the job: an understanding of the perfect “crunch to softness ratio” and at least five years’ experience in garlic bread consumption. Which, I think we can safely say, all of us have.
The job pays $30 an hour, so really there is a wonderful career waiting for someone with a true passion for stuffing their face. Really, this is literally the perfect job. Someone is about to start on the journey of a lifetime as they begin chowing down on the –
Oh. Wait. It’s only for one day. You only get to do it for one day. You can’t spend the rest of your life eating garlic bread for cash.
Bugger. So close.