Kevin Rudd ‘Ready To Die’ As He Makes His Handball Comeback

There are a lot of ways an ex-prime minister can spend their time after leaving the office. Highly-paid directorships, speaking tours, hanging around on the backbench harassing your successor: the options are endless. But up till now, few former PMs have devoted their post-power lives to handball.

Well, thank God that’s changed. Or rather, thank Kevin.

Our old mate Kevin Rudd has posted what can only be described as a masterpiece of a video on Facebook, introducing himself as the “global handball king” and requesting that anyone seeking a “handball championship game” to contact his office to set the showdown up.

We should note here that Kev is not speaking of European handball, the team sport you see at the Olympics. His prowess is at the beloved schoolyard game where you slap a ball back and forth with your bare hand – a true test of skill and fortitude.

And apparently, skill and fortitude is exactly what Mr Rudd has in spades.

The ex-PM ends his video with the badass sign-off “Be very good, and get ready…to die.” It’s terrifying and tantalising all at once: as much as we fear this man’s mighty palms, we can’t shake the insidious desire to challenge him. Even if we die trying.

Of course, if you’re more a handball fanboi than a practitioner, Rudd has also offered to personally autograph a handball for anyone who asks. Surely THAT is an offer you can’t refuse.