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Autoblow AI Machine Delivers Multiple Blowjob Experiences
In Partnership with Autoblow
By Jacob Osborn - Sponsored Published: , Last Updated:
Has there ever been a better time in human history to be home and horny than the present moment? We think not. Between virtual porn, robot girlfriends, and modern sex toys, there are all kinds of advanced ways to achieve explosive orgasms in the comfort of one’s domicile. Speaking of virtual porn, we have the perfect companion for that very platform. It goes by the name of Autoblow AI and performs exactly as one might hope, using artificial intelligence to cultivate the ultimate blowjob experience. Heck, with or without the virtual porn, this thing delivers!
We’re not just talking about one kind of blowjob, either. Thanks to built-in button controls, Autoblow AI offers 9 different types of unique blowjobs plus a special AI mode that chooses a different BJ every time it’s selected. Variety is the spice of life, after all, and this modern product duly abides. Simply plug it into the wall and behold the life-like feel of its interchangeable sleeves, which are constructed from artificial skin-like material.
We previously reviewed the Autoblow AI and it performs just as intended, if not better. Our reviewer wasn’t even the biggest fan of BJs and he still adored this sensational product. Who wouldn’t when it’s crafted with such purpose and precision? That’s not to mention the copious research and development behind its unique creation. In fact, creator Brian Sloan used machine learning to analyse countless hours of blowjob porn so as to land upon the different techniques, which you can activate at random using the special AI setting.
With the holidays upon us, now is the time to grab this gift for yourself or for your favourite pleasure-lover. Indeed, there’s a reason they call this the world’s leading blowjob machine in that it actually works, delivering an authentic feel and mind-blowing orgasms. Features include the following:
- When moving over your member, a Patented Gripper strokes and sucks with resounding finesse.
- Constructed from artificial skin material, each Interchangeable Sleeve feels real to the touch and cleans with ease.
- Speed Controls migrate between 9 unique BJ experiences whilst a 10th AI setting chooses different blowjobs at random.
- An Edge Button allows you to pause and start as you see fit, making you a true master of your domain.
- Thanks to an advanced Microchip and 4 Sensors, the gripper and sleeve can move to 250 different points.
- Using a Power Cord in lieu of expensive batteries, the Autoblow plugs into the nearest outlet and never runs out of juice.
We’re in a golden age of orgasms and the Autoblow AI is here to prove it. Brought to life by scientists and powered by AI technology, it truly sucks in the best way. Bring in some adjoining virtual porn and you’re looking at the total package of pleasure. You’re also welcome to use traditional porn or the old school power of your imagination. Oh, let’s be honest, your mind can be a total blank and this machine will still work wonders!
For those on a budget, there’s also the Autoblow 2+ X.T., a slimmer and lighter alternative that’s now in its third generation. Expect a firm grip and trusty motion from the patented gripper, which is backwards compatible to work with Autoblow AI sleeves. Whilst less intelligent than its AI-powered brethren, this cheaper version still delivers toe-curling pleasure every time you use one. It similarly plugs into the wall and thereby lasts forever.
A Hands-On Review of the Autoblow
This hands-on review was written by Joe Cutcliffe.
I do love a clickbaity title, but when I say that this product sucks, I mean it in the literal sense; the same way all vacuum cleaners technically suck. TRIGGER WARNING: More BJ puns ahead.
Some people are born great. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Others, however, invent the machine that’ll dead set give you a blowie that’s as fair-dinkum as the real deal, and this is but one way in which greatness can be achieved.
Meet Brian Sloan, a law graduate who, after university, turned his hand to helping others masturbate, realising that by creating sex toys, he’d be able to get more people off than if he was a defence attorney.
Literally millions more.
He made headlines a few years back with his Autoblow 2, a widely reported automatic blowjob machine that blew people away, and damn near broke the internet.
Now, armed with feedback from a huge number of (very) happy customers, Brian has gone one better and created a new blowjob machine, that uses the power of artificial intelligence (yes, that same scary one that will probably turn on us a la I, Robot, one day, but for the meantime can drive us home when we’re drunk. Kind of.) to give the best damn hummer for which a man could beg.
Except, thanks to Brian, beg he need not.
The natural inevitability of evolution inevitably leads to the advancement of humankind as a species, and its ability to innovate. Technology then, in turn, becomes more and more complex and acts as a catalyst to benefit its end users further faster than evolution could have done, alone, in the first place. The Autoblow A.I. is one such example of this circle of scientific achievement, crafted for no reason other than to put a smile on people’s (well, guys’) faces.
The design team behind this sucker watched, and I swear I am not making this up (though they might be), six thousand minutes of pornography (very specifically blowjob scenes), to write code which then, in turn, gets translated to the hardware in the device, so that it can feel like a human. And not just any human; a pornstar, it would seem.
True or not, some people will swallow anything, and who are we to question such a noble cause?
According to the campaign page currently running on Indiegogo, the Autoblow A.I., a “patent pending penis stroking mechanism” (way to make it sound sexy, huh), performs 16 oral sex techniques that the design team discovered using artificial intelligence. The machine can move its soft sleeve and carriage between any of 250 different points at a variety of velocities, unlocking sensations previously caused only by humans. There’s even an “edging” feature, which allows users to pause movement at any time to prolong enjoyment, or to practice lasting longer when they’re with a real-live actual human person.
Available for pre-order on Indiegogo for three more weeks, the Autoblow A.I. will set you back a surprisingly low USD$139 plus shipping if you get in early, though the RRP, once it’s gone into production, will be USD$249: still a bargain when you think about the hours of fun you’ll be having.
Oh, and the Autoblow A.I. is shipped in plain brown boxes with a third-party warehouse return address, so one will know what’s inside the parcel you inevitably accidentally order to your office address.
While many might proffer that inventing the machine that’ll suck you off does not a great man-make, we would strongly beg to differ, and salute Brian Sloan for his innovative approach to a complex yet common problem.
Life is, after all, different strokes for different folks, right?
‘Tis the season to splurge and we mean that in every possible sense of the word. Buy an Autoblow AI or Autoblow 2+ X.T. through the brand’s website and you’ll gain access to exclusive online discounts. They might have something special in store for Black Friday and Cyber Monday as well. Here’s to spreading that holiday cheer!
