Facebook Launches a Native Dating App ‘Secret Crush’ for Your Friends

Yes, that headline is one hundred per cent accurate: Facebook wants you to boink your friends. This may not seem like such a big deal: after all, we all want to boink our friends, don’t we? Why shouldn’t Facebook want good things for us? But it is doubtless an interesting development to have the social media giant be so upfront about its desire that its users hook up with their secret crushes.

Or rather, their Secret Crushes. The capitalisation is important, because Secret Crush is now an official category included on the Facebook Dating service (if you’re lucky enough to be in a country where Facebook has rolled out its dating service).

The concept is simple: you’re on Facebook Dating, looking for a date, but what you REALLY want, in your heart of hearts, is for one of your pre-existing friends to sweep you up in their arms and cover your burning face with a thousand passionate kisses. Well, under the user-friendly Secret Crush system, you can add that friend – or up to nine friends – to your Secret Crush list. This will cause a message to be sent to that friend saying “a friend added you as a Secret Crush”. Intriguing and not a little flattering, you’ll agree.

Then, the good bit: if your Secret Crush also adds YOU to their Secret Crush list, Facebook will match you up and tell you each other’s names. Following which, we assume, you’ll live happily ever after, as do all friends who become lovers.

It’s a fantastic idea, and frankly we can’t believe it’s taken this long for Mark Zuckerberg to do something useful with his market power and help get together those folks who’ve been stealing long glances at each other across crowded rooms for years. Go to it, “friends”!