Random Shit We Found on Gumtree

Ah Gumtree – the classifieds website that never fails to impress with the level of randomness on offer. We featured some pretty baller stuff a few weeks back, but given their new website design, thought it might be time to re-visit the online bazaar of bizarre and shine a light on some of the more random crap we could find.

The re-brand that Gumtree has recently enjoyed makes the site look flash and sophisticated – a far cry from the ultra-daggy logo the company used to employ. Though the makeover happened for the rest of the world back in 2015, Australian Gumtree only got the fancy new classifieds browser last week.

Here’s a peek into the world of Gumtree (and into the minds of some pretty f*ucking twisted individuals, if we’re honest).

zombie baby dolls

Zombie Dolls

Handmade, these are the perfect gifts for the little kid in your life. The little kid you hate.

Creep me the f*ck out

justin bieber air

Justin Bieber Air

Look if you’re going to flog air from a Justin Bieber concert you could at least package it in something a little better than a sandwich bag.

wanted free lamborghini countach

Wanted: Free Lamborghini Countach

Absolute full marks for trying.

baby tanisha image

Baby Tanisha

I have no words, other than to let you (and the authorities) know that it’s just a very realistic doll, and not a real baby.

tropical island background

Tropical Island

This is a classic Aussie battler story. Y’see, old mate David from Seven Hills is fed up with two things: paying taxes, and the divorce laws of our wide brown land. His solution? Band together a team of other blokes slighted by the oppressive system of a Commonwealth government with legislative, executive and judicial arms fairly controlling the many balances of power in a delicate three-tiered, long-tried and long-tested democratic model founded on secularism, individual liberty and equality, and buy a motherfriggin’ island.

David, I think you’re batshit crazy, but goddammit I respect you.

I too am sick of taxes and public infrastructure

our lady of guadalupe plaster statue

Plaster Guadalupe

I get that people love her and all, but explain to me how a 1.5m tall model of Mary made from plaster is $3000?! Also if anybody can zoom in and enhance that laptop screen to see what Spotify says I’ve got a tenner on Creed’s ‘With Arms Wide Open‘.

Absolve yourself, fool

signed snow white

Signed Snow White

This original copy of Snow White & The Seven Dwarves romps in at a whopping $400 000 AUD, because it’s (allegedly) been signed by one of the world’s most famous (alleged) anti-semites. The Disney Corporation are notoriously litigious so if this website isn’t up tomorrow, you’ll know why.

price $30 k brass watch

This Thing For $30k

Located in Macquarie Fields, a suburb generally prefaced with the words: ‘shots fired into a house in’ by newsreaders, this brooch with a clock in it is allegedly worth $30 000. I mean look, I can’t prove that it’s not, but the shitty photo and minimal description is north of just a little suss.

Seems legit, I’m in

shit tigers photo

Shit Tigers Photo

This is apparently ‘one of a kind’ and ‘priceless’. Mate, the frame isn’t even the right size.

dishonourable mention this lounge car seat

Dishonourable Mention: This Lounge

Just think of the shit this poor lounge has seen over the years. Put it out of it’s misery and burn it already.

Go on – you know you want it

dishonourable mention this wardrobe

Dishonourable Mention: This Wardrobe

Nah – but I’ll take that Milo cap.


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