There’s a 16ft Tall Battle Robot For Sale On eBay

Phone the bank, pester your partner, do what you need to do – I know you wanna put that 15-Ton 2-Story Tall Gasoline Powered Car-Smashing Piloted Giant Battle Robot straight in your basket.

Back in 1995 when Pierre Omidyar created eBay, it was supposed to be “a marketplace for the sale of goods and services for individuals”. Technically speaking, that is what it still is – but I’m not sure he was ever envisaging the sale of 15-ton weapons of mass destruction and/or entertainment.

This listing could satisfy either of those two descriptions, depending on who’s got the keys. Leave it with old boy Trump for the day and we’d see cars being hurled down the street. But give it to Peter the Japanese automaton enthusiast, on the other hand, and we’ve got ourselves a quasi-safe display of industrial possibility. Rumour has it Donny is planning a last-minute bid. Scott Morrison is said to have been bidding for weeks.

The dude selling this beast definitely ain’t here to fuck spiders. The listing covers everything you could possibly want to know, including lots of pics, all its specs, a link to a 14-minute YouTube explainer video, and a comprehensive Q&A section. At the time this is being written, the auction has exactly two days left, and the bid sits at AU$253,095.11. Check it out for yourself.

Some interesting facts about the thing: It cost $2.5M to make. It has a 430 horsepower LS3 V8 Engine, commonly found in the Chevrolet Corvette. It’s piloted by two people. It’s over 16ft tall. It competed in the well-known USA vs Japan Giant Robot Duel.

To get this brute to Australia would take $50,000 and 2 months of patient waiting. I’ll be thinking twice the next time I go to screw my nose up at a $7.95 shipping + handling fee…