Some people criticise the younger generation of men for being weak and lazy. However, have you ever considered that this could be because we have to drag around waaayyyy bigger equipment between our legs? A recent study by a group of researchers from Stanford, Emory University, and several universities in Italy has revealed that the average erect penis length has increased by a staggering 24% worldwide. That’s right, we’re not talking about a measly half-inch growth spurt here. No, no, we’re talking about going from 4.8 inches to a whopping 6 inches. That’s like upgrading from a fun-sized candy bar to a king-size one. Who’s a “real man” now, grandpa?!
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To reach this conclusion, the researchers analysed 75 research papers published between 1942 and 2021, which reported erect penis measurements in a total of 55,761 men. And let us just say, that’s a bigger sausage party than our high school parties. They made sure to only include studies where scientists were doing the measuring, because let’s face it, men tend to exaggerate certain measurements when it comes to their genitalia. The researchers also excluded studies where measurements were taken after pelvic surgery because those measurements might not accurately represent the “original equipment.”
The most startling finding from the study was the increase in penis size across several geographic regions and subject populations. And no, it’s not just a case of guys finally reaching their growth spurts later in life. The scientists speculate that there are global environmental causes, which may also be associated with boys (and girls) going through puberty far earlier than in previous generations. Who knew that global warming could heat things up in more ways than one? Somebody shut down Greenpeace! (kidding)
The researchers also suggest that a “sedentary lifestyle” could be leading to hormonal changes that increase penis length. So, if you want to give yourself a little extra length down there, it might be time to pick up the PS5 video games and start binging Netflix instead of exercising.
“It can be speculated that these changes may be linked with observations that pubertal milestones are occurring in younger boys than in the past,” they write. “Investigators have hypothesised sedentary lifestyle/obesity or increasing exposure to hormone-disrupting substances may play a role.”
But don’t start celebrating just yet. The researchers also noted that there have been worldwide declines in sperm counts and testosterone levels, and an increase in testicular tumours. So, while we may be growing in one area, we may be shrinking in others. It’s like a real-life game of Whack-a-Mole, where you never know what health problem is going to pop up next.
Michael Eisenberg, one of the authors of the study, said that the increase in penis size was not what the team was expecting. Given the trends we’d seen in other measures of men’s reproductive health, we thought there could be a decline in penile length due to the same environmental exposures,” he said. “The increase happened over a relatively short period of time. Any overall change in development is concerning, because our reproductive system is one of the most important pieces of human biology. If we’re seeing this fast of a change, it means that something powerful is happening to our bodies. We should try to confirm these findings and if confirmed, we must determine the cause of these changes.”
Eisenberg speculated that “chemical exposure, like pesticides or hygiene products” could be changing hormonal levels in men. So, if you’re one of those guys who likes to douse yourself in Lynx Africa body spray, it might be time to switch to a more natural scent.
Now, before you go measuring yourself and comparing your results to the study’s findings, there are a few things to keep in mind. While the study is a rigorous meta-analysis, it only looked at 55,000 men, which is a tiny fraction of the billions of men in the world. The researchers also note that penis measurements can be affected by temperature and body size, and other factors, and volunteer bias might also exist. Therefore, they emphasize the need for future studies to confirm the trend and identify the underlying cause of this change.
The study has left many people wondering what this could mean for the future of human biology. Could this mean that future generations will have even longer penises? Will the dating game change as women start to demand even greater length? Will the underwear industry have to start making bigger sizes to accommodate this increase in size? The possibilities are endless.
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