More and more people are exploring the kinkier side of sex these days and with good reason. Indeed, humans are nothing if not psychological beings with physical needs, who often seek healthy and satisfying outlets for their innermost desires. It’s no surprise that those who enjoy bondage play end up really enjoying it, if you catch our drift. With full consent and an open mind, you and your partner could feel the same way.
However, don’t just reach for the rope, whip, and ball gag because there are some basic things you should know beforehand. We thus present a beginner’s guide to bondage, including baseline definitions, essential pointers, and titillating toys.
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1. Talk It Out
Because there’s a power dynamic at play (to say the least), make sure that you and your partner are on the exact same page. Maybe she wants to be the dominant one, for instance. Talk everything out in advance during the early stages so that you can establish preferences and trust.
2. Create a Safety Word or Gesture
Sit down with your partner and derive a word, term, or gesture that brings everything to a pause or halt, allowing you both to regroup. This one’s a no-brainer.
3. Start Slow
Before you bring out the handcuffs, try a blindfold instead. Or get the ball rolling with some dirty talk, different sexual positions, or by role-playing unique scenarios and characters. Each new step will enable newfound tiers of mutual trust and comfort.
4. Learn How to Control Your Orgasm
The longer you can last, the more fun you can have. We know it’s easier said than done, but there are potential ways to control your orgasm, including delay sprays, kegel exercises, and edging.
5. Keep it Simple
You don’t need a chest full of contraptions when wrist restraints and a blindfold will do, especially at first. This is a mutual journey and one that will reveal itself as it progresses, getting more involved if and when necessary.
6. Maintain Open Lines of Communication
Bondage play can be an emotionally and physically draining experience, making it essential that you maintain communication at every stage of the process. It’s important that both your needs are being met.
What is Bondage Anyway?
Strictly speaking, bondage is the sexual practice of tying up or restraining one or more partner(s). A tradition as old as time, it goes part and parcel with BDSM, which touches down on bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism.
When performed with total consent, bondage allows both partners to explore their deeper sexual desires. For some, that means playing a submissive role while others prefer to be the dominant force. As you can readily deduce, this is about power, pleasure, and fantasy.
You might be an absolute rock star in the bedroom and she might have all the “50 Shades” books on her nightstand, but that doesn’t mean either of you should dive headfirst into BDSM. Baby steps are required, allowing both you and your partner to establish trust, find your respective comfort zones, and uncover your creative kinks.
