Ever tried talking dirty in bed and been completely stumped with what to say? You’ve wanted to try it out but your nerves have taken over and your mind has gone completely blank? Don’t worry, you’re not alone – many men find it challenging. To take your next f*** from great to mind-blowing, here’s 5 tips to improve your dirty-talking skills and to keep your partner always coming back for more!
1. Be Complimentary
Mastering the art of good communication can be a challenge, however, one area you can’t go wrong is in complimenting others. Tell your partner how amazing their technique is or that you simply adore a certain area of their body. This will make them feel sexy and might even encourage them to turn on their sex game for you.
Research shows that people improve their performance when they receive compliments in much of the same way as when they receive cash rewards. So, It’s a win-win for both of you!
2. Use Your Senses
If you struggle with finding the right words to say, get some inspiration by tapping into all 5 of your senses. Comment on the natural scent of their *sexy parts* and how it drives you absolutely crazy. Focus on what you feel when you’re touching them – the texture of their skin, the bumps and crevices along their body’s topography or their pulse getting increasingly faster. Take notice of their moaning or heavy breathing and what kind of feelings it elicits for you.
If you enjoy using your mouth, focus on the way they taste. Lastly, the visuals! What happens to you when you see your partner’s body in that certain position or making that blissful facial expression? Sex is an all-encompassing sensory experience, so use them to guide your dirty talk.
3. Be Respectful
Dirty talk can vary a lot – some people like it extra-dirty while others like it fairly tame. Don’t assume that your sex buddy likes to be called offensive names or sworn at. Whether you can use profanities with them should either be established during a conversation before sex or used if they explicitly ask you while you’re getting hot-and-heavy in the moment.
Also, keep in mind that there’s a fine line between what’s okay and what isn’t – your partner might love when you call them certain words but be offended when you use others so tread lightly, be mindful of how they’re reacting to your words and show them that you care about their feelings.
4. Put Some Emotion Into It
Emphasise the ‘love’ in ‘I looovve your body’ or add an ‘oh my god’ or ‘wow’ in beforehand. Putting emotion into what you’re saying conveys conviction and will let your partner know that you are genuinely loving the sexual experience that you’re sharing with them.
5. Don’t Underestimate the Power of a Whisper
What could be hotter than feeling your girl’s breath tickle your ear while she tells you to take her clothes off? If you like the sound of that then you’d understand how it could make your girl feel when you return the favour. It’s such an automatic turn-on, you could comment on the weather and you’d still sound sexy (but don’t go pulling that one out in the bedroom). Basically, just adapt anything from your dirty-talking repertoire into a whisper and you’ll be sure to take your game to whole new levels!
Okay, so what are you waiting for? Talking dirty adds a whole new element to a sexual experience that goes beyond the physical realm. If you’re feeling up to it; give this advice a go, try something new and have fun with it. You’ll be great.
Laura Miano is a Sex Therapist in Training whose passion is centred on breaking down barriers surrounding sexuality and encouraging people to explore their sexuality in new ways. She celebrates diversity and believes that each individual is entitled to their own sexual identity. To contact her or see more of her content, email [email protected] or follow @lauramianosexology.
