Ever wondered what kind of freaky fun some people get up to? Or, perhaps you’ve considered dipping your toes into the wonderful world of kinks and fetishes. To give you an idea of what it’s all about, here’s a list of 20+ kinks and fetishes to make you feel seriously conventional in the bedroom.
1. Age Play
Age play is centred on acting as someone from a particular age group. Adult babies are a big one – with a bottle, dummy and nappy on, a person will pretend they are a baby in need of ‘care’.
2. Sadism and Masochism
This kink is all about pain and humiliation and it forms the ‘SM’ in BDSM. A sadist will derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliating another person while a masochist derives pleasure from being humiliated or receiving pain.
When a man watches his partner have sex with another man, usually a more muscular man with a bigger penis. The idea is that the watcher gets off on being humiliated. This kink is a form of masochism.
4. Bathroom Control
Part of both the submissive/dominant & masochistic component of BDSM. Bathroom control is when a dominant partner restricts the submissive partner’s ability to use the bathroom. The sub will only be allowed to go when the dominant partner allows it. This can be humiliating and painful for the submissive partner as restricting themselves can be incredibly difficult.
5. Human Furniture
This is when people derive sexual pleasure from acting as a piece of furniture so that they can be used as though they are one. For example, a person may get on all fours and allow their partner to sit on their backs as if they are a chair.
6. Impact Play
This kink is all about disciplining in the way of spanking, whipping and flogging – any kind of strike. Hot spot areas include the butt and thighs as they have more fat and muscle than other body areas, and they aren’t near any vital organs. When engaging in this type of kinky play it’s super important to have a safe word to ensure everything remains consensual.
7. Foot Fetish and Pedal Pumping
One of the most common fetishes around today, the foot fetish can involve getting off on massaging, kissing, touching or licking feet. It can also go as far as having someone (usually a woman) put their smelly feet on the fetishist’s face or in their mouth. Another form of foot fetish is pedal pumping – whereby a person is turned on from watching a woman wearing high heels, pump the accelerator of a car in a rhythm that is similar to that of masturbating.
8. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Voyeurism involves consensually getting off from watching other people have sex, while exhibitionism involves getting off on other people watching you have sex. Enjoyment of these kinks is usually behind peoples motives to engage in group sex.
This kink is all about mirrors. Basically, anyone who loves having sex or masturbating in front of a mirror.
10. Domination and Submission
The DS in BDSM, you’ve probably heard of these two before as various movies make reference to this kind of kinky play. Through mental and physical domination, the dominant partner might choke, slap or whip the submissive partner, or they could call them insulting names to assert their control. Through this power play, the dom gets off on being in charge. The sub, on the other hand, gets off on surrendering their autonomy to their dom partner. They enjoy the humiliation and pain that comes with being a sub. Most importantly, safe words and full consent are very important during this kinky play.
11. Edge Play
Not to be confused with edging, which involves oscillating your arousal levels to hover just below the level of orgasm, edge play refers to any kind of kinky play that is considered more risky than usual kinks. It may involve the abolishment of safe words, knives, blood, needles and more. Although given risky in the kink world is incredibly subjective, one person’s normal could be another person’s edge play – it’s always unique to the individual.
12. Breath Play
A form of edge play which involves restricting someone’s airflow for a period of time. Restricting a person’s breathing can be done through choking or having a partner sit on or put a pillow over the other partner’s face. It can be an incredibly dangerous practice, so caution is advised when engaging in breath play.
Fisting refers to the insertion of the entire fist or hand into an orifice – mouth, pussy or butt.
14. Bondage and Discipline
Another one you’ve probably heard of before. The BD in BDSM, bondage involves restraining or tying someone up and can be done using belts, scarves, handcuffs – the lift goes on. When the individual is tied up, the other partner will then begin to discipline the restrained one. Before beginning, safe words and boundaries should always be set.
15. Group sex
Group sex, also known as an orgy, refers to more than three people engaging openly in sexual acts within the same space. One form of group sex is swinging, whereby one or more couples consensually exchange partners. For individuals interested in group sex, sex parties can be a good entry point.
Individuals with urolagnia derive sexual pleasure from the sight or thought of urination. They might enjoy watching their partner pee or get off when their partner pees on them. The latter is termed a golden shower.
17. Orgasm Control
This play involves domination and submission, whereby the dominant partner will control when the sub is allowed to cum. A dom might do this by edging their sub (bringing them close to orgasm and then pulling away before they climax) or ordering them to wear a chastity belt.
18. Objectum Sexuality
Individuals with objectophilia may develop a sexual attraction for an inanimate object. With the innovation of more sex toys today, objectum sexuality might be on the rise as people form attractions to sex dolls and vibrators. However, outside the realm of sex tech, some people have been reported to catch feels for cars, the statue of liberty and musical instruments.
19. Double Penetration
When a female has any paired combination of either her vagina, butt or mouth filled simultaneously by either a dildo, hand or penis. For men, double penetration involves simultaneously occupying their mouth and butts.
For people who hate confined spaces, this kink might be their worst nightmare. Claustrophilia refers to the derivation of sexual pleasure from having sex in small places.
21. CBT & BNT
CBT, not to be confused with the popular therapeutic technique, is an acronym for cock ball torture. As you might imagine, CBT involves inflicting pain on a man’s penis or testicles. BNT, on the other hand, refers to breast nipple torture and again involves inflicting pain on a woman’s breasts and nipples.
22. Coprophilia or Scatophilia
A scatophiliac gets off on the thought, sight, touch, and smell of human excrement. They might enjoy watching someone use the bathroom, or enjoy rubbing poop over their bodies.
To end on a somewhat more wholesome note, dendrophiliacs have a sexual attraction toward trees. They get off on the different textures and shapes of a tree. Not to be confused with tree-hugging, the term dendrophilia literally translates to love of trees.
Laura Miano is a Sex Therapist in Training whose passion is centred on breaking down barriers surrounding sexuality and encouraging people to explore their sexuality in new ways. She celebrates diversity and believes that each individual is entitled to their own sexual identity. To contact her or see more of her content, email [email protected] or follow @lauramianosexology.