Dick Run Claire: The Instagrammer Who Makes Dicks With Her Feet

When you read the above headline, it probably sets your mind ablaze with possibilities. What does it mean, “Makes dicks with her feet”? Does she use her feet to shape dicks on a pottery wheel, or sculpt them out of Play-Doh? Does she glue matchsticks together with her toes until they form lovely wooden dicks? Does she refashion her feet into dicks using a carving knife?

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For Mother’s Day, I dickran my mom’s hometown. I know she’s proud ?. I also drove 3.5 hours here to surprise her and my grandmother, so I think I did it right. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there- you all bring so much support and love to your families, and I probably should have done a twat trot today now that i think about it. My bad. Hope y’all have a great day with those you love, and maybe even 30 min of peace and quiet ?. #dickrun #fingerlakes #mothersday2019 (PS last photo in this series is a gem of a childhood photo I found at my aunts, including me, my brother and sister and cousins). . . . #beatyesterday #pursuesweat #runnersofinstagram #runhappy #runderful #womensrunningcommunity #noexcuses #justdoit #runaddict #motivation #instarunners #beabeast #fitstagram #fitspiration #runrunrun #runtimefuntime

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Well, no, none of these. It’s actually a far healthier and more impressive pursuit: Claire, or Dick_Run_Claire as she is known on her Insta page, has made it her mission in life to run through various American towns, following routes that when traced on a map form the shape of a dick and balls.

Seriously. Take a look at her photos. It’s genius. And seriously inspiring when you see just how far the lady has run. Such commitment, not only to health and fitness, but to enormous dicks, can’t help but make your chest swell with an appreciation of just what great feats human beings are capable of when they put their minds to it.

Hard to tell what the most impressive of Claire’s dick runs is, but for mine, it’s her jog around Lake Wallenpaupak: a relatively small dick but one that attains legendary proportions when you realise it was all done on ice. Amazing stuff.

What an athlete. What an artist.