How to Take a Dick Pic that Women Actually Like

Random sex has been temporarily suspended (more or less), but the mighty dick pic is on the rise…pun intended. Whether or not that’s a good thing probably depends on the execution, whereas dick pictures aren’t exactly erotic. In fact, some might say that nude dicks are conspicuously ugly or at the very least funny looking. It’s then kind of odd that so many men are willing to expose themselves and often without encouragement. On the other hand, men do a lot of dumb crap without encouragement.

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A few decades ago, dick pics were unimaginable, now they’re basically par for the course. Should you be an active bachelor, there’s a good chance you’ll be compelled to take one sooner than later. Obtain consent and snap a good dick pic and you’ll get something sweet in return. Botch the execution and you’ll be hastily ghosted, only to find your junk on some third-party website. Like we said: times have changed.

That brings us to the subject at hand (or in hand, if you will): how to take a dick pic. By that, we mean: how to take a good dick pic. You know, the kind that women will actually like. Don’t disrobe and engage until you’ve read every last pointer. It could very well be the key to your ongoing romantic success in this crazy world. Ahhh, the wonders of modern dating!

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1. Angle

A nude dick pic is a crude dick pic if you throw caution to the wind when sexting. After all, have you ever objectively looked at a nude dick? It’s like a fleshy sandworm and that’s before we even bring your disgusting balls into the equation.

What we’re trying to say here is that you need to work every detail to your advantage. For starters, that means taking a little time to uncover the strongest possible angle. To do so is to bring out the true aesthetic glory of your proud little soldier.

Let’s hear from professional photographer Soraya Doolbaz, who’s made a career out of dressing up nude dicks for pics. In an interview with Elite Daily, she gave the following advice: “If you’re taking your own dick pic, Point of View is the classic one. The balls aren’t in there, it gets the point across, and you know, that’s the standard dick pic. If you wanted to do more of like a body shot—let’s say you have a full-length mirror and you want to do a sideways shot with a little of your body in there—that’s awesome, too. Another that’s great is (putting) a reverse camera on a table. Lean over it, but still keep the balls out of it. And when you hit focus on the camera, your dick is front and centre in the shot while your body is blurred in the background. That’s a really artistic shot.”

2. No Balls

It’s hard for us to think of anything that’s attractive about the scrotum, which looks like something you might get if you crossbred peanut shells with prunes. Accordingly, a number of experts recommend leaving the balls out of your dick pictures altogether. We can heartily back up this suggestion.

The truth is, a nude dick can actually take on pleasing dimensions when captured the right way. However, its potential allure gets compromised as soon as your shrivelled balls enter the frame. They’re just plain gross.

3. Lighting

You asked how to take a good dick pic and here’s your most vital answer: proper lighting. We’ve all seen the kind of poorly lit garbage that most smartphone users send into the world and with little hesitation. Don’t be an amateur and don’t settle for anything less than a perfectly lit nude dick. It presents you as a man of patience and taste (relatively speaking). More importantly, it makes your dick look better.

You have plenty of choices when it comes to lighting. One method at your disposal is spotlighting, where you shine a light right on your dick and leave no detail to the imagination. Or you can infuse a little style into the process by lighting the penis from one side so that it casts a shadow of sorts on the other. We’re picking up some noirish vibes from that one!

Along similar lines, don’t be afraid to experiment with filters and other advents of modern technology. The more mood and aesthetic you put into the dick pic, the more likely she’ll be to actually respect both the content and its provider.

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4. Face/No Face?

To present your face or not to present your face? That is the question. The answer boils down to a number of variables. For instance, are you better looking than most men? If so, your face will help drive home your sexual appeal. On the other hand, do you trust the person you’re sexting? If not, your nude dick pictures could end up plastered across the Internet.

Presuming you do in fact trust the recipient, we would suggest including your face in at least one of the pics. It instils a sense of approachability, trust, and confidence. The underlying message might be sexual in nature, but most women are also looking for things like charm and personality as well. A face will do a much better job at conveying those signals than a penis will.

5. Timing of Your Send

If you want to render the right impression, you can’t just scurry off to the bathroom during work (or your Zoom meeting), snap a quick dick pic, and then return to your desk. That much should be obvious by now.

Instead, figure out the right time and place to put together a solid dick picture and one that doesn’t look grainy, rushed, or unflattering. It’s just common sense.

While on the subject, take her whereabouts into consideration as well. If you think she’s at work or hanging out with friends, then the last thing she needs is a nude dick popping up on her smartphone screen. Again: common sense.

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Remember, the theme of this article is how to take a good dick pic that women will actually like. Well, most women don’t actually like it when you send them unsolicited pictures of your dick. Shocker!

Now more than ever, it’s important to obtain consent before invading her eyeballs with your nude dick pic. To do anything otherwise isn’t just in (really, really) poor taste, but it’s downright dangerous this day in age. Don’t be a dick.

7. Get Creative

Here’s a bonus pointer for all the savvy dick pic takers out there. If you want to truly stand out from the herd, don’t be afraid to get creative. Remember Soraya Doolbaz, the photographer we quoted above? Well, she dresses up penises with wigs and costumes and it’s kind of adorable. Meanwhile, we all know what women think about a man with a great sense of humour. Do the math.

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General FAQ

What is the best angle for taking a dick pic?

Some say the best angle for a great dick pic is from the underside, meaning the side facing away from you. Be sure to leave your balls out of the frame.

Why do guys send dick pics?

Since the dawn of catcalling, men have operated on the delusion that aggressive and unsolicited advances are somehow desirable, despite drastically low success rates. Perhaps unsolicited dick pics fall into this general category of too much confidence and too little awareness. In short: get consent!

Do dick pics ever work?

When you're engaging in consensual sexting, dick pics can work. Use proper lighting, capture the best angles, and leave your balls out of the frame to render the right impression.