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Sony Actually Turned Bert Kreischer’s ‘The Machine’ Stand-Up Routine into a Movie

What will get your heart racing faster than the white stuff from Cocaine Bear and Pedro Pascal’s Starbucks Order? How about having the Russian mafia hunt you down for stealing a prized family heirloom? Well, that’s the plot of The Machine, a new film about Bert Kreischer’s breakout stand-up routine from over seven years ago. It will all make sense, I promise.

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Bert Kreischer and Mark Hamill in 'The Machine' (2023) | Image: Sony Pictures

Bert Kreischer and Mark Hamill in ‘The Machine’ (2023) | Image: Sony Pictures

Directed by Peter Atencio and inspired by a hilarious tale of comedian Bert Kreischer’s booze-fueled shenanigans with the Russian mafia, The Machine is coming to cinemas on 25 May 2023. In 1999, when Bert was 22, he got involved with the Russian mafia during a class trip. Twenty-three years later, this action-packed film follows Bert as he tries to navigate a familial crisis arguing with his estranged father, played by the legendary Star Wars alum Mark Hamill, about the reality of his crazy story, before dealing with the return of a mobster from his past.

What follows is a bombastic journey that sees Hamill taking speed, mixed in with spectacular action sequences underlined by the comedy chops of Kreischer himself. Together, they retrace Bert’s steps amid a war between a sociopathic crime family while trying to find common ground.

Aside from Kreischer and Hamill, The Machine also stars Iva Babi as the vicious mobster on the hunt for The Machine and Jimmy Tatro as the youthful Kreischer who started it all. Also on the marquee are Robert Maaser, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Jessica Gabor, Rita Bernard Shaw, Nikola Yuriko, Oleg Taktarov, Amelie Villers, and Mercedes de la Cruz to round out the cast. Peter Atencio directed, with Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes penning the screenplay.

To celebrate the film’s release, Kreischer will perform a live pre-show event on 25 May that will be streamed to over 1,000 theatres and precede the first preview screening of the film. And if you need more Brett Kreishcer in your life, the comedian’s latest stand-up special, Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle, will arrive on Netflix on 14 March.