Exposed: Tinder Reveals Sydney’s Thirstiest Suburbs

When I heard that the thirstiest suburbs in Sydney had been revealed, I naturally thought that here was information of great use to anyone looking to expand their beverage business. And then I read the story and thought, aaahhhhhh. OK. That’s what they mean.

Yep, this is a list compiled by Tinder, the hook-up app that doesn’t so much make dating easier as it makes dating unnecessary. Based on the number of right-swipes undertaken in each locale (a right-swipe being the method of indicating that you’re up for fun times with the user in question), the app has determined which of Sydney’s suburbs are hot to trot, and which are somewhat hot to not trot.

It’s probably no surprise to see Bondi Beach high up on the list: the bracing sea air and relaxed dress code will always get the juices flowing out east. But Bondi is only number two: at number one is the underground sleeper hit Wetherill Park, in the unfashionable wilds of Sydney’s west.

At first glance Wetherill Park’s elite horniness level may come as a surprise, but really it makes sense: when you’re stuck out in the burbs, often an app is the only way of connecting with other humans – particularly if attractiveness is a factor. So it’s understandable that Parramatta is also high on the list, at four, while the prevalence of southern suburbs is likewise predictable – they’re up for anything down there.

If you don’t like in one of the suburbs on the list, but hunger for a hook-up, the course is clear: work harder to boost your neighbourhood’s numbers, or move.