The old adage suggests ‘there’s more than one way to skin a cat’, but when it comes to beating your meat, the tried and tested method works best, right? Wrong. Like all things in life, just because you’ve always done it the same way doesn’t mean your technique, approach and touch can’t be improved with a little outside coaching. We’re not saying you should get the neighbours in on your little solo skin-flute sessions, but understanding the science behind how to masturbate can greatly increase your performance in all aspects of your sexual life.
For most men, your private life remains simply that, private. Often, it can be hard to tell whether your personal masturbation habits are in line with the populous. After all, no one greets their mates with a bit of chat around their jerk-off routine, but therein lies an ingrained problem. According to sensuality coach, Eleanor Hadley, male masturbation is often shunned as a taboo subject. Considering most people on earth indulge in the act, it probably shouldn’t be.
How Often Should You Masturbate?
While you may have asked yourself how often you should masturbate, the answer is not always as straightforward as it seems. Hadley says that it is entirely dependent on your relationship with masturbation, your libido and how much partnered sex you’re having.
“Everyone’s body and needs vary greatly, so I would suggest doing what feels right for you. As long as you aren’t noticing any patterns of dependence on masturbation, I believe a regular masturbation practise can have several health benefits,” she says. “Self pleasure is a really healthy practice that can increase endorphins, improve sleep, reduce stress and enhance self-esteem and body image.”
The sex expert isn’t wrong. Studies have shown that some men masturbate weekly, others daily, several masturbate a few times a month, and others hardly masturbate at all. Importantly, all of these frequencies are considered within the normal range for men. What is interesting to note is that masturbation may have some serious benefits.
According to a 2016 study by the European Association of Urology, men who ejaculated 21 times a month or more were significantly less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. This was compared to men who ejaculated four to seven times per month. While the statistics must be taken with a grain of salt, it does suggest that regular masturbation can be beneficial to overall health.
Masturbation 101
“Many men start masturbating quite young and depending on their upbringing, may have internalised shame or taboo around self-pleasure,” she tells us. “Often it was something that they felt the need to hide or to do quickly so as not to get caught.”
From there, the habit forms. That fear of being caught out or ridiculed for the behaviour has crept into the male psyche and it plays out in perpetual motion, often without your knowledge. Hadley explains that this psychological phenomenon may not serve us well in the long run, both for our self-esteem and for future relationships. Instead, she suggests breaking the cycle and changing the way you view male masturbation.
“Just like any habit, the more that we get used to doing something the same way every time, the harder it is to break. For a lot of men, they are masturbating the same way they always have – essentially training themselves to reach orgasm in one type of way and often in a short period of time,” she says. “Switching up your masturbation routine is a really great practice to get into in order to explore new sensations and to train yourself to last longer, too. One of the biggest misconceptions around male masturbation, and sex in general, involves the use of the phrases ‘climax’ and ‘orgasm’
Chatting with the sex expert, it’s easy to get caught up in the prospect of shameless self-love, but in the real world, it’s not always as simple as that. In fact, a lot of issues are spurred from a lack of knowledge. So, let’s start at the top on dive into how to masturbate.
What is the Difference Between Climax & Orgasm?
One of the biggest misconceptions around male masturbation, and sex in general, involves the use of the phrases ‘climax’ and ‘orgasm’. While we’d all like to believe we are killing it in the bedroom each and every time, whether that be by ourselves or with a partner, understanding the stark differences between the two is important. According to Hadley, if you understand your own body, you’re much more equipped to satisfy someone else’s.
- Climax – A climax refers to the peak point of pleasure, where your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract and is often short and sharp, like reaching the top of the mountain. You can make your way up, then quickly drop down again.
- Orgasm – Whereas an orgasm refers to the deep feeling of pleasure and relaxation you experience just before reaching that point. Most often ejaculation occurs at the same time as orgasm – but they can actually occur independently of one another. And, as mentioned before, it is entirely possible to experience orgasm without ejaculation, with practice.
Can You Masturbate Too Much?
Short of pumping out ghost loads (cheers American Dad), the prospect of masturbating too much might not really enter your mind, but it’s a common concern than you’d think. As bodybuilders and fitness nuts know, even healthy habits can become unhealthy if done in excess or to an extreme. Sadly, this is also true of masturbation. just how much is too much, however, varies from person to person. In a 2020 interview with MBG, sex and relationship therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT explained that some people masturbate several times a day with no negative outcomes.
“There is no objective measure of how much anyone should masturbate,” Francis said. “Your health is an individual consideration. If your masturbation habits are causing you mental, emotional, relational, or physical distress, that is an indicator that you may be masturbating more than is currently healthy for you.”
What Happens When You Abstain from Masturbation?
While male masturbation is considered healthy and perfectly normal, not everyone indulges in the great one-man-band performance. This may be due to religious or spiritual reasons, cultural concerns or simply because they just don’t like it, this is also very common. In terms of benefits and risks, abstaining from masturbation has its anecdotal evidence, but nothing overly concrete. A 2003 study published in the Zhejiang University Press suggested that no masturbating may be linked to increased testosterone, however, the test was focused more on short term behaviour.
A lot of men believe in the act of semen retention. By all accounts, this spiritual sexual practice sees people avoid ejaculation “because they believe semen is a source of life force energy“. According to Hadley, there is no scientific evidence, however, that reports semen retention being specifically beneficial or harmful.
“Many men choose to abstain from masturbation or more specifically, ejaculation, to enjoy longer sex when with a partner,” she says. “This a tao and tantric practice referred to as semen retention in which you intentionally avoid ejaculation while energetically channelling your sexual energy in order to experience more powerful orgasms.”
How to Improve the Intensity of Your Orgasm
With the basics covered, we turned to sensuality coach Eleanor Hadley for advice on how to make the most of your masturbation time. Focusing on improving the intensity of your orgasms, Hadley revealed five key tips to incorporate into your routine. Here’s what she had to say:
1. Take Your Time
When you rush to the end goal, you’ll often experience a short sharp peak followed by a quick decline in pleasure. When you take your time to slowly build up before reaching your climax, you’ll experience much more intense orgasms as a result.
2. Practice Edging
This is a really great practice if you’re struggling to slow down. When you feel yourself getting towards the point of no return, simply hold back a bit, slow down or move your focus elsewhere. Then start self-pleasuring again until you reach that point once more. Repeating this pattern multiple times will lead to far more powerful orgasms and help you last even longer.
3. Lube Up
Make your self-pleasure sessions much more enjoyable by using plenty of natural lubricant, like Frenchie’s Oh La La Love Lube. Using lube increases pleasure, mitigates the risk of abrasions due to friction on the delicate tissue of the penis, and intensifies orgasms.
4. Breathe Deeply
Tuning in to your breath and taking long, slow, deep breaths during masturbation can help to channel your sexual energy upwards throughout the body, allowing for full body orgasms. When you breathe deeply, you oxygenate your blood and increase blood-flow, resulting in deeper pleasure. Rather than holding your breath at the point of orgasm, try visualising your breath moving up along your spine towards your head. With practice, this can lead to much more intense orgasms.
5. Explore Different Sensations
Explore the world of blended orgasms by adding in different sensations to your usual masturbation routine. Try touching different parts of your body at the same time as stimulating your penis such as your nipples, neck, thighs, anus. Adding in a sex toy such as Frenchie’s Double Entendre is a great way to add in more sensation and increase orgasmic potential. You can try turning the vibration on and holding it to the tip of your penis, curving the flexible body of the vibe around your shaft or exploring anal pleasure. Variety is the key to enhanced pleasure and heightened orgasms.
How Often Should Men Masturbate FAQs
According to ensuality Coach, Elanor Hadley, eeryone's body and needs vary greatly. However, A 2016 study found men who ejaculate 21 times a month or more were significantly less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer, compared to people who ejaculated four to seven times per month.
A climax refers to the peak point of pleasure, where your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract and is often short and sharp, like reaching the top of the mountain. Whereas an orgasm refers to the deep feeling of pleasure and relaxation you experience just before reaching that point.
Many men choose to abstain from masturbation or more specifically, ejaculation, to enjoy longer sex when with a partner. This a tao and tantric practice referred to as semen retention in which you intentionally avoid ejaculation while energetically channelling your sexual energy in order to experience more powerful orgasms. There is no scientific evidence, however, that reports semen retention being specifically beneficial or harmful.
