Mr Mark Jessen

A Guide to (Safe) Rough Sex | Man of Many

“I don’t think that rough sex is necessarily better. It’s different,” says Dana Vespoli, a veteran of the adult film industry, where she carved a name for herself as one of the foremost actresses of the profession in the early 2000s, before switching to the other side of the camera, becoming a director for well-known studios Sweetheart Video and Evil Angel.

Is Rough Sex Better?

As girls who love rough sex, and also as part of their impressive careers, both Vespoli and Leigh have experienced rough sex professionally, as well as off-camera, and know better than anybody the dichotomy between the two scenarios. For most men wanting to broach the topic of rough sex with their partner for the first time, however, many find the idea daunting. Both women offer sound advice on how to get started with rough sex.

How to Talk About Rough Sex With Your Partner

For many, both men and women, rough sex can be something that they’ve tried once and didn’t enjoy, and when it comes to rough sex, technique is just as important as consent. Dana is adamant that, for the first time, starting slowly is the most important thing, as well as paying attention to your partner’s cues: “Rough sex is as much about trust as pleasure. Communication is everything.

Having Rough Sex for the First Time

A common misconception is that what goes on on a porn set is how you’re supposed to have rough sex in real life. This, of course, is not the case.

Rough Sex in Porn vs. Reality

For many men, their first experience of rough sex will have been its portrayal in a pornographic film on PornHub, RedTube or the like. Though everybody of all genders had a different opinion on personal tastes and its popular portrayal, it’s important to draw the very real distinction between what is fantasy and what is reality. Another important thing to consider is how pornography has evolved. “When I started performing in 2003, 90 per cent of the scenes I performed in were rough sex scenes”, says Vespoli.

How Rough Sex in Porn Differs

In short, not at all. As a whole generation of young men come of age, whose first experience with sex, and specifically rough sex, has been through internet pornography, many might find the concept of actual rough sex confusing. Dana is quick to remind anybody who fails to make the distinction already that porn, while fun, simply isn’t reality.

Is Rough Sex in Pornography a Negative Portrayal?

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