Backdoor Buddy – A Man’s Guide to Prostate Stimulation

Anal eroticism – as a man reading these words, I ask, what thoughts do they provoke for you? My hope – you think of all the pleasure that can be derived from this area and begin reminiscing the fun times you’ve shared with your girl exploring this backdoor treasure.

But truth be told, I might be a bit overzealous in my hoping.

If you are a heterosexual male and your thoughts were somewhat in-line with my ideal, then you don’t need any more convincing from me. You already know all about the mind-blowing fun this pleasure centre can provide.

On the other hand – if you tensed up, screwed your face, wanted to close this article and never hear those words uttered ever again, the fact that you’re still reading demonstrates a hint of curiosity and I encourage you to read on.

Firstly, let’s unpack this uncomfortable relationship you have with your bum. It has most likely originated from the concept termed homohysteria. This is when heterosexual men fear being perceived as gay, especially when they behave in ways that don’t align with stereotypical gender norms. Chances are, if you are a straight male, you might have avoided anal pleasure due to homohysteria.

But the enjoyment of anal pleasure does not define who you are attracted to. Nor does a man’s biology bias his sexual orientation. Every person with a penis is capable of deriving pleasure from this region.

Now, imagine in some alternate universe, that straight women avoided clitoral stimulation out of fear of being associated with lesbianism. You’d call me crazy right? Well, in the 19th and 20th century this did indeed occur. Thankfully, straight women came to their senses and now women of all sexual orientations enjoy clitoral pleasure. While social inequality still very much exists for homosexuals, the stigma between certain sexual acts and lesbianism has decreased.

Will anal stimulation share the same fate as the clitoris? Researchers conducted a study on 170 heterosexual undergraduate students and found that 24% reported trying anal stimulation of any kind at least once before. Interestingly, they also found that men generally thought that other men consider anal play a hallmark of homosexuality however they themselves do not. This might mean that while you might fear social ridicule, there’s a good chance your buddy doesn’t associate your interest in butt play with your sexual orientation. The two are totally separate and honestly, how could you blame any guy? It houses the male g-spot after all!

From a biological standpoint, what makes your bum so special is the dense network of nerve endings surrounding the anus and the prostate (also known as the g-spot). These nerve endings are connected to the genitals and the PC muscles, which are involved in producing orgasms. These connections allow for orgasms to be reached purely from stimulation of the prostate. You might be wondering what and where on earth your prostate is? Well, it’s a walnut-sized gland (and partial muscle) that sits in front of your rectum, about three-quarters of a finger’s length deep from your anus.

If you’re keen to give it a try but too nervous to go internal just yet, try rubbing your perineum, known colloquially as the ‘gooch’. This is the area between your testicles and your butt. If you press on it, you can make contact with your g-spot. To intensify the sensation, insert your finger through your butt and aim your fingertip toward your belly. When you can feel a ball behind your anal wall, gently stroke the area. This is your g-spot!

It’s also important to note that before you attempt this, remember to apply LOTS of lube.

You also don’t have to try this experience alone. Involving your partner is a great way to enhance your sexual (and emotional) connection with them. You can also use a toy for extra pleasure. Today, there are a variety of products on the market with varying shapes that offer differing levels of stimulation. To get you started, check out We-Vibe’s latest product Vector. It targets the g-spot by massaging it internally while providing extra stimulation on the perineum. It also comes with a remote so that you or your partner can take full control of the fun.

Lastly, if you’re giving it a go for the first time, remember to remain calm, move slowly and progress at a pace that feels comfortable for you. There’s no pressure to become an anal guru in one session of exploration. The only pressure you need is a little press on your perineum to get you started and you can take it from there.

Laura Miano is a sexologist whose passion is centred on breaking down barriers surrounding sexuality and encouraging people to explore their sexuality in new ways. She celebrates diversity and believes that each individual is entitled to their own sexual identity. To get in contact with her email [email protected].

General FAQ

Does prostate massage help erectile dysfunction?

It has been reported that prostate massages may help to reduce erectile dysfunction. While some evidence exists, it has not been tested empirically in any large scale studies.

Is a prostate massage effective?

A prostate massage is an effective method for eliciting sexual pleasure. Pleasure can be experienced during both internal or external stimulation of the prostate gland.

What is a prostate massage therapy?

Prostate massage therapy involves stimulation of the prostate internally or externally. This practise has been reported to improve sexual performance.