Softmaxxing 101: 6 Easy Ways to Look More Attractive

Since the dawn of time, humans (and our early ancestors) have been grooming ourselves, showing off and trying to attract a mate. The desire to look appealing is hardly something new. It’s in our biology.

So when looksmaxxing erupted onto social media, it was easy to see why it took off. And while looksmaxxing exists on a spectrum (for some people it simply means better self-care), so much of the advice drifts into extreme dieting, questionable supplements, aggressive jaw exercises, smashing your facial bones (yes, truly), and the overall toxic idea that your face is a problem to be fixed.

There is, thankfully, an easier way to make yourself look more attractive. Softmaxxing is the softer, more sensible trend, built around changes that make you look healthier and more confident without harming yourself in the process. We’re talking about posture, the gym, skin, hair, fragrance, clothes and the other simple things that can make a real difference.

We spoke to the experts to find out what works, what probably doesn’t and where you can make a few easy improvements without smashing your face into a new structure or chewing gum until your jaw dislocates.

6 Easy Ways to Look More Attractive 

1. Sort Out Your Posture

You can put two men in exactly the same clothes, and one will look considerably better simply because he’s standing correctly. Good posture makes a jacket sit better, gives the shoulders and chest more presence and tends to make you look more confident (not to be mistaken for walking around with your chest puffed out 24/7).

Is there one exercise that will magically improve your posture? Sadly not. However, according to Mark Lucas, Head of Performance and Cognitive at EIR LIV, strengthening your upper back and trunk while keeping the shoulders and upper spine moving well are the important things to focus on. 

“Rows, face pulls, wall slides and loaded carries are all useful,” he says. However, the simplest advice is often the most effective.

“Follow a balanced strength program, move regularly and avoid staying in the same position for hours at a time.”

For anyone working at a desk, that means standing up, walking around, reaching overhead and changing position every 30 to 60 minutes. A few controlled wall slides are a good place to start, but they won’t undo an entire day of sitting if you never leave the chair.

However, posture isn’t only a mechanical problem. Dr Olivia Lesslar, the founding medical architect at EIR LIV, says it’s also a behaviour the brain produces. She explains that the brain is constantly working out where the body is, how it’s positioned and what feels safest, which is why stress, fatigue, pain and even unfamiliar surroundings can change the way we stand without us really noticing.

“When the brain reads threat, the postural strategy tends to look very similar across people: more co-contraction, fewer degrees of freedom, guarding through the head and neck, elevated shoulders, changed breathing mechanics, often a subtle curl inward,” Lesslar explains.

In other words, standing taller isn’t always as simple as remembering to pull your shoulders back. The way you feel can show up in the way you hold yourself, and changing your posture can also send different signals back to the brain. 

2. Stick to the Basics in the Gym

Now, you don’t have to bulk up to look more attractive, but it’s an approach many guys take to make themselves look and feel better. So, which muscle groups create the highest visual impact for a “fit” shape?

“The side delts, upper chest and lats generally have the biggest visual impact,” says Lucas.

“They add width across the shoulders and upper torso and help create an athletic shape. Developing the upper back and arms will add to that appearance.”

However, he also explains that training only the muscles you can see in a T-shirt usually produces an unbalanced physique, which is why squats, hinge movements and other lower-body exercises are still important. “A fit body should look proportionate and capable,” he says. 

For anyone chasing niche exercises to carve out a bigger physique, Lucas says this is the wrong approach. “The basics done consistently – think presses, rows, pull-ups or pulldowns, lateral raises, squats and deadlift variations, will deliver more than constantly chasing specialised exercises.”

3. Adopt a Simple Skincare Routine

Science proves clear skin is more attractive because our brains instinctively see a smooth complexion as a sign of good health, youth, and strong immunity, which is probably why the skincare industry tries to convince us that we need a bathroom cabinet full of tiny bottles to achieve said clear skin.

Achieving good skin is a lot less complicated, however, and if your current routine is washing your face with whatever soap is closest to the shower, you can make a noticeable improvement with a few small additions. 

Tanya Koksal, Director and Educator at Melbourne Skin, has a good rule for anyone who wants a skincare routine they’ll be able to stick to: “Consistency will always beat complexity,” she says. If you’ve only got 90 seconds in the morning, she recommends a gentle cleanse, moisturiser if your skin needs it and sunscreen.

Given that we live in the harsh Australian climate, she advocates making SPF 50+ on your face an everyday habit, even in winter.

“The biggest mistake I see is men treating sunscreen as something they only need on holidays or when it’s 35 degrees outside. UV exposure is one of the biggest contributors to premature skin ageing, pigmentation, uneven tone and loss of collagen,” she says. 

Then at night, cleanse well and add one targeted treatment if there’s something specific you’re trying to address. That could be retinol or another active ingredient, depending on your skin, but the important thing is to have a reason for using it rather than a spray-and-pray approach. 

“More products do not necessarily mean better skin. If someone is only prepared to spend 90 seconds on their skin, I would rather see them consistently use three appropriate products than buy eight products and use them sporadically.”

Koksal says one of the most common mistakes she sees is men attacking their skin too aggressively. “This is probably one of the most common things I see, particularly with men who suddenly decide they want to improve their skin and go from doing absolutely nothing to using a scrub, exfoliating acid, acne treatment, clay mask and whatever else they have found online, all at once.”

She explains that “scrubbing harder, washing repeatedly or throwing multiple strong actives at breakouts can compromise the skin barrier, increase irritation and actually make the skin look more inflamed and uneven.” Picking doesn’t help either, despite the almost impossible temptation to do exactly that.

Finally, if your skin is still misbehaving despite all your efforts, Koksal says it might be time to look beyond your skincare. 

“If someone comes to me with prominent dark circles and tells me they’re sleeping four hours a night, they’re dehydrated, and they’re constantly rubbing their eyes, I’m not going to tell them they need a $200 eye cream. Their lifestyle and habits need addressing first.”

4. Get a Bangin’ Haircut (And Go Easy on the Product)

The best haircut isn’t what looks most impressive when you leave the barber. It’s a cut and style you can still work with every day when you’ve only got four minutes to get ready.

Dean Robertson of Beefs Barbers in Melbourne says the easiest way to get a good haircut is to explain to your barber not the cut you want, but the life you lead.

“The client’s job isn’t to describe the haircut, it’s to describe his life. Tell me how long you’re actually willing to spend in the morning, whether you use product or not, how often you’ll come back, and what you felt about your last cut,” he says. 

Photos are helpful, but Robertson advises bringing one of someone with hair like yours rather than simply a similar face (a picture of a man with thick, wavy hair won’t tell your barber much if yours is fine and dead straight). Robertson says hair texture is also more than face shape because density, growth patterns, hairlines, cowlicks and the shape of the back of your head will all affect the result.

“Face shape is a guide, your hair is the constraint,” he says. “Density, growth patterns, hairline, cowlicks, a double crown – none of that cares what shape your face is.”

Product is another area where guys tend to overcomplicate things. Most men use too much, and also tend to start at the fringe, which leaves the front overloaded while the back sits flat. Robertson recommends warming the product between your palms, working it through from the back and underneath, then bringing it forward. That, and also using about half as much product as you currently do.

And the most important question every guy wants to know: how often should you really be washing your hair?

“Once or twice a week is plenty for most guys. With mid length to longer hair, honestly the less you wash it the better it looks – the natural oils do wonders. But rinse it every time you’re in the shower.”

5. Build Out Your Fragrance Wardrobe

Fragrance is a bit of a different one because nobody can see it, but everyone notices when it’s good. A good scent becomes part of how people remember you, with science proving it can make you appear more attractive. 

Steven Glyde, Fragrance Education Lead at Mecca, says the old idea of one signature scent is giving way to a fragrance wardrobe, with different options for different moods and occasions.

“Fragrance has very much become a part of the mainstream conversation around self-expression, and that has naturally led us away from the idea of a signature scent,” he says.

“It’s now far more common for people to consider ‘what fragrance do I want to wear today, what goes with the vibe’ instead of the classic idea of finding a signature scent.”

You might have something clean and fresh for the day, something woody when you want a little more presence and something warmer for dinner.

If you don’t know where to begin, Glyde suggests exploring fragrance families such as citrus, woody, ambery and floral scents, then thinking about how you want the fragrance to make you feel. “If you know how you want your fragrance to feel and what fragrance families you gravitate towards, you’re closer than you think to finding your next perfect scent,” he says. 

There aren’t strict rules about which fragrances belong to which season, although temperature does affect how a scent performs on your skin. Warmer weather tends to make brighter, fresher scents feel appealing, while richer fragrances often work well in cooler conditions. Remember it’s just a guide, and nobody is coming to confiscate your winter fragrance in December.

Glyde also points out that the idea of a “masculine” vs “feminine” fragrance is mostly shaped by marketing and cultural convention, so if you like a floral, sweet or unusual scent, wear it. The most attractive fragrance is whatever you feel comfortable and confident in. 

6. Make Sure Your Clothes Fit Properly 

Before buying another jacket, look at the clothes already in your wardrobe and ask a not overly exciting but very important question: do my clothes fit properly? 

Personal stylist and image consultant Christina Robért says the most common mistake she sees is men wearing clothes that are too big or simply haven’t been altered properly; sleeves run long, trousers bunch around the shoe and shoulder seams sit somewhere between the shoulder and the elbow, leaving the clothes without much shape. “You can’t see the best of your body if your clothes are swallowing it. [A] poor fit can immediately make you look less polished and less confident,” says Robért.

And while relaxed fits are incredibly on-trend right now, a relaxed cut is not a synonym for oversized. The shoulder seam is one of the first things to check. “On shirts and jackets, the shoulder seam needs to sit in the right place on your natural shoulder rather than dropping too far down your arm or sitting too far up,” Robért explains.

The right jacket will also depend on your build. “If you’re a guy who already has broad, structured shoulders, you might look better in a deconstructed blazer, which has less structure and often little or no lining,” she says.

“If you don’t have as much structure across your shoulders, or you have narrower or more sloped shoulders, you may look better in a structured blazer with a little more shape or padding through the shoulder. That can help create a more athletic-looking silhouette.”

If you want to look a little taller, tonal dressing is one of Robért’s favourite tricks. “Keeping similar tones running through the outfit helps the eye travel more continuously up and down the body, rather than creating strong visual breaks that can cut the body in half,” she says. That might mean cream jeans with a camel or bone T-shirt and a beige or taupe belt, or a pale pink T-shirt with pale blue jeans and a softer grey or beige belt.

Colour is another easy way to make your wardrobe feel fresher and elevate your presence. “One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to move away from the standard black, white, navy and grey mix if you want to bring more vibrancy into your wardrobe,” Robért says.

“Introducing more colour doesn’t mean it needs to be bright or overpowering,” she adds. “It can simply be about bringing in richer or softer hues so the wardrobe feels fresher and more interesting.”