While it’s been around since 2012, people are still trying to figure out how to Tinder better than their peers. Tinder is the App Store’s closest relative to the mythical beast Hydra; for every user that gives up, puts their phone down and (heaven forbid) strikes up a real conversation with someone, two more lonely hearts download the little red and white icon and start swiping – and despite the obvious malaise one might express about modern dating being fickle and shallow, you don’t need a Ph.D. in the human condition to understand why people love it so much.
Tinder ticks all the boxes of instant gratification that we as humans so desperately enjoy – the thrill that goes along with that little jingly bell is palpable – seeing your screen flash “It’s a Match” is an instant hit of dopamine for the little part of your brain that yearns for acceptance.
With that said, we’ve decided to put together a user manual of Tinder tips, if you will, to help maximise your chances and give you an upper hand at online dating. And, to help us achieve that, we’ve chatted with Sera Bozza, Tinder’s resident dating expert, to walk us through the whole process and figure out how to get you to the point that you can delete the app for good.
Your Tinder Bio
We’ve gone into the best ways to make your Tinder bio shine elsewhere, but the advice is so good it bears repeating here. Your bio, which serves to showcase who you are to a potential partner, is a goldmine often left untapped. Most guys feign indifference here, or fall back on overused and tired cliches, which does little to set you apart from the hundreds of other options out there.
“Instead of falling back on tired cliches like ‘taller than you in heels’ or ‘can reach high shelves and kill your spiders’, showcase your actual personality,” Bozza said.
“The aim is to find ‘the one’ on the apps, but it’ll be impossible for them to find you if you’re camouflaged behind cliches. Instead, maximise your prompt responses with more than just one-word answers, and keep your bio concise, punchy and engaging.”
Another hack Bozza notes is to include your top 5 interests: it’s essentially a cheat sheet that allows your match to initiate conversation, and makes it easier for a potential partner to find someone they’d feel compatible with – there’s no point in matching, starting up a conversation, and realising you have nothing in common.
What Your Tinder Photos Say About You
In the same vein, the photos you choose to show off are probably the most important part of your entire Tinder profile, but often are a collection of overused standbys that are identical to the guy before you, and probably after you as well.
“On apps, as in life, we make unconscious split-second judgments about what (and who) we see and use them to determine how we think, feel, and what we do next: and rarely is it a generous take,” Bozza said.
“So, your photos make or break first impressions on Tinder.”
The best approach, Bozza said, is to keep it simple. The first photo on your profile must be a clear, unfiltered shot of you, from the torso up. No hiding behind selfie angles or candid shots of you with the boys: you’re trying to sell yourself here, remember.
Beyond that, variety is the spice of life, and it’s best to have around six photos total showing off a number of different things about you: what’s important to you, what you’re into, and what you get up to on an average week. In an ideal world, these photos can serve as conversation starters when a match does come along, so make sure there’s something interesting there for people to latch onto.
“(This) allows potential matches to get a well-rounded view of who you are, increasing trust and credibility,” Bozza said. “Remember that confidence in your profile appearances translates directly into your interactions.”
Lastly, make sure the photos are recent. The last thing you’d want is to match with someone and then find out they misrepresented themselves, so let’s walk the walk ourselves, yeah?
Your Tinder Swiping Habits
Gone are the days of ‘swipe ‘n pray’ Tinder. The fact that you have a limited amount of swipes per day should be incentive enough to use them carefully, and once you’ve fixed up your profile with the tips above, you’re more likely to attract the kind of person you’re interested in.
One important thing to keep in mind: there’s a high chance that the first ten or so profiles Tinder shows you have already liked you, so keep an open mind with these ones. Take a moment to really pay attention to what their profiles are trying to tell you, and swipe if you could honestly see yourself wanting to meet them.
If you’ve done everything right, it’ll be a match! So… Now what?
Your Tinder Chats
We’d love to tell you that all that hard work means the next bit will be easy, but we can’t in all good conscious lie to you like that. Thankfully, your match is probably just as nervous as you are, and having adopted a quality-over-quantity approach to swiping means you’ve most likely attracted someone with similar interests.
“This commitment transforms your initial contact,” Bozza said. “You’re less likely to resort to a rogue and lacklustre ‘hey’ and more prepared to craft an engaging and personalised opener.”
The opening line is often a make-or-break for women, so make sure to take the time to get it right. Ever the helpful wingman, we’ve also come up with detailed advice on what to say on Tinder, and even have a list of some non-cringey pick-up lines to use in case of emergency.
Taking the time to craft a personalised approach to your match is going to leave an impression, Bozza said, and sets you in a different league than the myriad fuck boys littering her mailbox (our words, not Bozza’s).
Your Actual Tinder Date
After some time chatting and getting to know one another, the next step is to take it off the app and meet up in person.
With all the effort you’ve already put into this endeavour you should already have plenty to talk about with your date, but really, the most important thing is not to spend the entire date talking about Tinder. The hard part is over; put your phone in your pocket where it belongs (and keep it there for the night). Talking about Tinder only removes the human element you’ve spent so much time trying to nail, so there’s no need for it.
From this point on, it’s up to you. Remember to have fun!
How to Delete Tinder
Whether you’ve found true love or not, the “delete my account” feature of the app is one of the best things they ever did. Here’s the thing you need to know about Tinder: just because you uninstall the app, doesn’t mean you’ve expunged your digital pick-up paw-prints, which can make things tricky in a few months time when your new flame’s spinster bestie sees your mug while she’s having a flick. You’ll need to go to the little cog-shaped setting button in your own profile page, scroll to the bottom and hit “delete account”. Deleting your account means that you’ll lose all of your matches as well as your profile, but you also have the option of “pausing” your account. It’s kinda the same thing, but with the added advantage of being able to re-download and re-activate whenever you like – in case you’re not completely sold on the new missus yet, or even just need a break from Tinder (and amen to that).
Also, if you got suckered into paying for the premium subscription, you’ll need to log into the App Store or Play Store to change your settings there so your account stops getting charged. Mucho importante.
And congratulations, you’ve made it – maybe it won’t be true love, maybe it will – but with the above sage advice, you’ll be better prepared for a happier time and find your matches increase by the bucketload*.
*In no way guaranteed.
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