Celebrating 50 years of ultra-fast cars that peel the skin from your eyes and melt women’s pants, Ferarri has put something amazing underneath their ever present cherry red paint. It’s called the Ferrari J50.
This thing is curvy and futuristic, and with just enough of an opening at the top of the cab to blow the top of your skull off from wind sheer. It’s a revamp of the 488 Spider with 681 demonic horses under the hood in a 3.9 liter V6 engine that is hungry for hot asphalt. A polycarbonite bubble is all that stands between you and certain death as you break the sensibility barrier in this mechanical beast that- quite frankly- violates several tenets of the 1973 Paris Peace Accord.
Ferarri engineers have found a way to boost the aerodynamism of their vehicles by creating a body design that actually tortures the air molecules that pass over it, making them desperate to escape the unholy aura of the Ferrari J50.
The frame and body is loaded with carbon fibers and advanced alloys that defy good sense and has left innumerable Italian mothers weeping into their pillows. The interior is supremely futuristic, trimmed in red and black leather wrought from the black heart of a dragon.
There’s not a lot of distracting technology inside. Anyway, it’s better to leave your toys at home, because if you even think of taking your eyes off the road, the demon spirit of the J50 will punish you.
Ferrari isn’t finished stuffing the souls of undead ninjas into this line of cars yet, so the price has not been announced. Just bring the deed to your father’s estate and your first born child to the dealership, and you might be allowed to smell it’s exhaust.