The 109 Funniest Names for Being Drunk

Whether you love a tipple on the reg or seldom touch the naughty water, the different ways of saying “drunk” are hilarious no matter how many draaanks you’ve consumed. And while some are regional, and some certainly make more sense than others, they’re all a great time, and there’s never a bad excuse for learning a new word, even if it isn’t because you read Shakespeare’s sonnets.

We’ve trawled through the murkiest depths of the internet, spent many nights in bars and, when we thought we’d exhausted all avenues of research, asked around the office, to bring you the most extensive list of the different ways to say “drunk” as possible.

Enjoy.

  1. 2D2F
  2. Annihilated
  3. Anybody’s
  4. Battered
  5. Beery
  6. Befuddled
  7. Belligerent
  8. Bibulous
  9. Blackout Drunk
  10. Blind Drunk
  11. Blitzed
  12. Blotto
  13. Bombed
  14. Boozed Up
  15. Boozy
  16. Buzzed
  17. Canned
  18. Captain Courageous
  19. Cockeyed
  20. Crocked
  21. Cross-Eyed
  22. Crunk
  23. Cunted
  24. Drunk As A Lord
  25. Drunk As A Skunk
  26. Drunken
  27. Faded
  28. Feeling No Pain
  29. Flushed
  30. Flying
  31. Fuckeyed
  32. Gassed
  33. Given To Drink
  34. Goneski
  35. Gonski 2.0
  36. Hammered
  37. Hasselhoffed
  38. Having A Jag On
  39. In One’s Cups
  40. Inebriated
  41. Intoxicated
  42. Jaggered
  43. Leathered
  44. Legless
  45. Liquored
  46. Lit
  47. Lit Up
  48. Loaded
  49. Looped
  50. Loose
  51. Maggot
  52. Maudlin Beery
  53. Mel Gibsoned
  54. Mellow
  55. Mortal
  56. Muddled
  57. Munted
  58. Out Cold
  59. Out Of It
  60. Overcome
  61. Pickled
  62. Pissed
  63. Plastered
  64. Plonked
  65. Plowed
  66. Poached
  67. Poleaxed
  68. Polluted
  69. Ratshit
  70. Rebecca Blackout
  71. Ridrinkulous
  72. Rugby League Drunk
  73. Sauced
  74. Schnockered
  75. Seeing Double
  76. Señor Ridiculoso
  77. Sewed Up
  78. Shitfaced
  79. Slizzard
  80. Sloppy
  81. Sloshed
  82. Smashed
  83. Sottish
  84. Soused
  85. Sozzled
  86. Speaking Russian Drunk
  87. Squiffy
  88. Staggersaurus
  89. Steaming
  90. Stewed
  91. Stonked
  92. Tanked
  93. Three Sheets To The Wind
  94. Tight
  95. Tipsy
  96. Totally Denised
  97. Trolleyed
  98. Turned Up
  99. Turnt
  100. Under The Influence
  101. Under The Table
  102. Wankered
  103. Wasted
  104. White Girl Wasted
  105. Wired
  106. Wobbly
  107. Woke Up With A New Tattoo
  108. Zazzle-Zazzle Zoozahed

Think we missed one (or more)? Let us know!