Elderly Melbourne Couple Accidentally Delivered $10 Million Worth of Meth

The post office is a funny thing. Some days, they screw you over by not delivering your package, but instead leaving a card telling you to come pick it up, but you can’t pick it up till tomorrow, and you have to go to work so you can’t get it till next week.

And then some days, $10 million worth of hard drugs show up at your front door and you realise it’s all swings and roundabouts.

OK, that latter one doesn’t happen that often, but the recent experience of an elderly Melbourne couple proves that in this country, dreams really can come true. For these lucky oldies were the joyful recipients of a 20kg bag of meth, despite the fact that they had at no point placed an order for it, and it wasn’t either of their birthdays.

The couple doesn’t wish to be named, which is fair enough, as they’d probably get heaps of calls from telemarketers and charities if they were. Also, sadly for them, they don’t get to keep the meth, because the killjoy cops came and scooped it up. It’s like winning the lottery and then finding out you have to pay it all out to cancel your HECS debt.

For the cops, of course, it’s a good news story, and we can be confident that as long as drug kingpins continue mailing their product to the wrong people, the war on narcotics is well in hand.