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use lube with your partner

How Often Should You Use Lube With Your Partner?

It’s been forty years since the erudite and irreverent Frank Zappa sang the phrase: “Keep it greasy so it’ll go down easy”, but the question of how often to use lube with your partner still gets asked on the reg, and as usual, Man of Many is here with all the answers.

If you’ve ever wondered how often to use lube with your partner, you might be surprised to know that the short answer is simply: always. But in lengthier terms, there are many more ways to use lube than the obvious, if you’re a little creative, and keep an open mind.

There are many versatile uses for personal lubricant in the bedroom, and many applications for it that you may not have considered, which make its regular use far more logical. From debunking the myth that young women don’t need it, to looking at all the joys that a quality lubricant can bring to your time between the sheets, in this article we look at why, if you’re not already using lube during sex (and foreplay) already, you will from now on.

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Debunking a Common Myth about Lube

One of the first things to note is the common misconception that personal lubricant is strictly for post-menopausal women, who have trouble self-lubricating (read: getting wet), and therefore shouldn’t be a bedroom staple for younger couples. The truth is that there are a) myriad reasons a woman of any age could have trouble with natural levels of lubrication, all of which are perfectly healthy (certain medications, the pill, poor choice of laundry detergent, childbirth, exercise, smoking, drinking, menstruation … the list goes on), and b) far more reasons to use lube than simply: “my girlfriend doesn’t get wet”.

Another thing to consider is that arousal, the mental trigger which naturally lubricates a healthy vagina, takes time–it can’t be summonsed as rapidly as an erection can. Lube can come in very handy when you’re trying to sneak in a quickie, without the need for foreplay (though we’ve discussed this before in our article How to Flirt: 5 Tips to Make an Impression), and there’s little argument to be made against having more frequent sex, no matter how time poor you may be.

lube use during sex

Which Lube Should You Use?

Anybody who’s wandered into an adult store (or Googled it) ever will know that there’s many different types of lubricant available, in many colours and flavours. We’ll touch on the flavours in a minute, and the different shapes and colours of the varying bottles is a matter of personal preference, but what’s important is the type of lubricant that you use.

While the base ingredient can vary a lot, there are three main types you’ll likely encounter: oil based, silicone based, and water based. While oil and silicone can be useful for natural sex, they’re not very kind to condoms (and can disintegrate them to a point where they break). They can also clog pores and hair follicles, and aren’t as easy to wash off, which increases the potential for infections. They also stain sheets.

Whatever your reasoning, water based lubricants are the best way to go. Super slippery, clean, easy to rinse and long-lasting, anything based on life-giving H2O must be good, right? Water based lube is also kinder on sex toys (oils and silicone can, over time, damage silicone toys), making it a logical choice.

The Benefits of Using Lube

When used properly, lube increases the intimacy you can experience with your partner, while reducing friction. While some friction during sex is obviously desirable, too much can cause tiny cuts that are ripe for infection, rashes, and is just plain uncomfortable. Eliminating friction during sex, however, is just one obvious benefit.

Lube is also great for massages (which should already be right near the top of your foreplay repertoire), oral sex, and also for increasing a little friction if you’re wearing a condom.

One of the biggest complaints about condom use is that it stymies any and all feeling for the guy who has to wear it. An easy fix is a small amount of lube (just a drop or two) inside the condom before putting it on. This allows the penis to move a little more freely inside the rubber (although too much and it might fall off) creating a better sensation during intercourse.

How Much Lube Should You Use During Sex?

Much like salt on a delicious pot roast, the adage that it’s easier to add more if needed that it is to take it away it away if you’ve overdone it is very true when it comes to lube. Start with a small dab, about the size of an almond, and hold it in the palm of your hand for a few seconds (otherwise it’s very cold), before applying it to wherever it’s needed.

If you need to use more, just add it as you go. A water based lube is very easy to clean up, too–keep some paper towel on hand in case you go overboard, and you’ll be sweet.

Lube for a Blowjob

Sound crazy? So does a donut flavoured brand of lube named Unicorn Spit, but it exists, and so should a little lube when you’re next getting a hummer. Mouths, much like vaginas, can also use a little help self-lubricating, and this is a surprisingly easy way to enhance the already kick-ass sexual favour that is a good blowjob.

Different companies make different flavours, but the whackiest one we’ve found whilst researching this article is hands down Boink N’ Oink, which is, you guessed it, bacon flavoured lube (maybe catering to the BBW community?) Find one that works for your partner and give it a go.

Lube for Anal Sex

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that if you’re going to try butt stuff, you’ll need to lay down some train tracks before you drive it through the tunnel. This means using as much lube as possible: literally, you cannot go overboard. Be liberal with the lube, and remember that if it’s your partner’s first time, ahem, “accepting deliveries at the rear entrance”, it may take a little time and patience to find a comfy position.

In short, you should always be open minded when it comes to improving your sex life, and there are more reasons to introduce some lube in your next jaunt behind closed doors.

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General FAQ

How much lube should I use?

Start with a small dab, about the size of an almond, and hold it in the palm of your hand for a few seconds (otherwise it's very cold), before applying it to wherever it's needed. If you need to use more, just add it as you go.

Is it common to use lube?

While their is a misconception that only post-menopausal women need lube, a women of any age can benefit from using lube and can be common practice for a couple of any age.