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The Art of Giving Good Oral – A Sex Expert Tells Us How

Whether you’re diving under the sheets and between her legs on a cold winter’s night, or hungrily spreading them in the back of your car as she grabs your collar and pulls you into her body, there’s arguably no bad time to pleasure your woman. But how can you be a true winner at giving head?

Start off slow with light touches, using your fingers first before your tongue. Don’t be too centralised with your approach; kiss all over her body rather than just focusing on her clitoris. The side of the tummy (just above the appendix) is highly erogenous for most women – brush your fingers there as you make out with her pussy. Kiss her labia (the ‘lips’) and gently nibble them. Breathe her in and tell her how damn good she tastes.

Slide your tongue up and down her clitoris and labia in a rhythmic motion, continuing the same pulse for some time and watch for her bodily responses. As her vagina starts to open up and self-lubricate, slide in your index finger and move it in a ‘come hither’ motion. (Don’t jab. Ever.)

As she gets into it – and you’ll know because she’ll relax her body – increase your enthusiasm. Speed up, grab her arse, her thighs and her tits like you’re hungry for her entire being. Giving head is about admiring the woman, not admiring the vagina attached to the woman.

Too often, men can approach eating pussy as something to be done with trepidation – ‘it’s an unknown and if I just run my tongue around the area in the shape of the alphabet, she’ll get there’. She probably won’t. The biggest difference between a good oral sex experience and a bad one is attitude. Dive in there and worship her pussy, her legs, her body. Grab her arse by wrapping your arms under her and pulling her into your face. Smell her, look up at her with hungry eyes and moan when you’re really enjoying yourself. The more you relax her through (genuine) compliments that show your enthusiasm, the more she’ll ease into it and free her mind for orgasm. Say things like, ‘I love how your thighs tense up right when you’re about to come’, ‘you taste incredible’, ‘this part of you right here is my favourite’. We all have insecurities and making your girl feel good will make the experience better for the both of you.

Lightly bite her inner thighs, dragging your tongue along them and to her lips. Use your fingers to graze her arse and tease the area, and (hot tip) take a breather when your tongue’s getting a little sore. When a woman pushes herself into your face, ‘mmms’ and ‘ahhs’, smiles and runs her fingers through your hair, it means she likes what you’re doing. Keep doing it and don’t move away. If you’re unsure, though, ask. Communication is sexy as hell.

When she starts to rhythmically pulse into your mouth and fingers, make your way up to the clitoris and stay there. Continue your up and down, rhythmic motion until you can feel it really swell under your tongue. Note that different women prefer different amounts of pressure on the clit – start lightly and if she pushes into, push your tongue further against her and then keep going until she comes.

A good orgasm feels warm, fluid and all-encompassing for most women. We feel soft, relaxed and loving after we come, so use this time to continue the intimacy. Kiss her forehead, run your fingers up and down her back as she snuggles into that nook on your shoulder, and gently place her hand over your hard cock to show her how good pleasuring her made you feel – how much she turns you on.

Ask for feedback in this moment, too. Learn what she really liked and put it into practice next time.

But most of all, enjoy yourself. Don’t just give head to get head. The hottest thing in the whole world is when someone makes love to you because they adore you and are insatiably attracted to you. Give off that vibe and she’ll be putty in your hands (and mouth).

About the Author: BARE Therapy is an online counselling and sex-education service. Helmed by sexual wellness expert and educator Tammi Sue (GradDipCouns), BARE Therapy provides regular opinions, updates and advice coverage on sexual health and positive relationships. Find your pleasure by following her on Instagram for the hottest tips on great sex and positive relationships – @bare__therapy.

Disclaimer: Man of Many is mainly for information purposes only. Materials on this website are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on this website. Read our full editorial policy here

BARE Therapy

BARE Therapy

BARE Therapy is an Australian-based counselling service operated by Certified Practising Counsellor, Tammi Sue. The Sydney-based health and relationships expert enables clients to work through their ‘stucks’ to live better lives. Tammi is a Provisional Member of the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia and received her training at the Australian College of Applied Psychology (ACAP) in 2020. Find out more – @bare__therapy.