I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me.Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald Duck!”Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.