First things first, fellas. Please make sure your fingers are in tip-top shape before you even think about putting them inside someone. A vagina is an incredibly delicate space. Not only is the internal tissue very sensitive, but any type of bacteria from your hands could disrupt our pH levels, causing infections quite easily. So, make sure your hands are freshly washed and scrubbed – yes, that means getting all that gunk and grime out from under your fingernails. I don’t care if you’re a tradie and it’s stubborn, for the sake of our vaginal flora, get your scrub on. Next, make sure to trim your fingernails nice and short and ensure they’re smooth. Nobody wants to get a scratch all up inside them during an act that’s meant to be pleasurable.

As we’ve discussed before, the importance of slowing down when having sex with women really can’t be overstated. Just like you need a chance to get an erection before penetration, we also need time for the blood to flow to our genitals before we’re ready to receive any type of penetration – be that fingers, dildos or a penis.

Now, this topic is a contentious one, and there is no indisputably correct answer here either. Generally, the go-to number of fingers is two, however, it can be nice to begin with just one and then see if your partner would like more. When using two fingers, many people choose to go with the classic pointer and middle finger combo as they tend to be the strongest digits with the most endurance for the job. However, a personal fave combo and a popular choice according to my followers is the middle and ring combo. If this is news to you, hear me out.

Having said that, my guy, never forget about the clit. By which I mean, the head of the clitoris, the bean, the pearl, the magic button. A vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation to come, so don’t be relying on just penetration with your fingers (or penis for that matter) alone in order to get her there. While your chosen fingers are inside, you might like to use the thumb of that same hand, get your other hand involved for a cheeky rub, or make it extra special by licking her clit while you work your magic with your fingers.

Trust me when I say this. Lube makes everything better. Less friction, more pleasure. Now I know you wouldn’t want a dry handjob or blowjob, right? Ouch. Same goes for dry fingering. Yes, we do tend to be self-lubricating, but often we require, or desire, a bit more to make it extra comfortable and ultra-pleasurable. So, use some high-quality, body-safe lube (try to avoid those flavoured kinds as they are just waiting to give us an infection – you’d be surprised just how many products actively cause disruption to our pH). Remember too, that everyone has different levels of natural lubrication, some women just aren’t naturally as wet as others. There’s absolutely zero shame in using lube, in fact, it shows that you care about her pleasure.

There’s often an assumption that anything remotely phallic that we use for penetration, like fingers or dildos, simply get used as though they were replacing a penis. This is so far from the truth. Your fingers can bend and move in so many different ways, and provide so many sensations that penises cannot. And so, use them accordingly. There’s no need to just mimic how you would use your cock with your fingers.

If you’re not already gently hooking your fingers to massage her g-spot, allow me to introduce you to the ‘come hither’ motion. Dual stimulation is a surefire way to increase her pleasure potential, so by pressing up against her g-zone at the same time as touching her clit, you’ve got double the power. To find the g-spot, you’ll want to slide your fingers inside and then gently curl them towards the front of the body.

A great fingering is made even greater with a touch of tongue. Pair your eating out with some finger magic and you’ll be sending her to heaven in no time. Perhaps start out by going down for a while, teasing her and getting her nice and wet, then when she’s ready you can add fingers. A tongue on the clit, while your fingers are doing their thing inside, is a total winning combo.

There are plenty of options to put your other hand to work. You could rub her clit, place the palm over her pubic bone, gently pull up as you lick her clit, grab her boobs, squeeze her nipples, grab her head as you kiss her, or use one in her ass at the same time for some dual stimulation.

Probably the most important part of a great fingering is communication. Ask her firstly if she actually wants fingers inside her, if she’s ready and how many fingers she likes. Always be sure to check in about pressure, movement, pace and be sure to watch her body for cues too. Communication makes sex better every time, promise.