Tackling the Tough Stuff: Keegan Hipgrave on Mental Health

Trigger Warning: This story will discuss mental health and suicide. If you, or someone you know, suffers thoughts of suicidal ideation, please seek assistance by contacting a trusted healthcare professional or calling Lifeline on 13 11 14.

At just 24 years of age, Keegan Hipgrave was medically retired from the National Rugby League: a career he had bet his hopes, dreams, and future on. Plucked from the game before his prime, Hipgrave had to figure out a new path forward. It’s enough to give anyone anxiety, but following a tragic encounter with a friend’s suicide years earlier, he already had the pieces he needed.

We’re in the grips of a mental health crisis. People around the globe are reporting increasing rates of isolation, and with growing rates of depression, anxiety and a declining sense of community, many are struggling to take care of themselves and others.

Historically, men have been particularly bad at talking about their problems and even worse at expressing emotions in a way that doesn’t end with somebody being hurt. We’ve long been conditioned to keep our problems to ourselves and told to idolise stoic, manly men who just ‘get on with it’. For a long time in Australia, that has largely meant growing up idolising footy players.

Former Gold Coast Titans and Parramatta Eels player Keegan Hipgrave did exactly that, spending his childhood looking up to athletes and giants of the game with the goal of becoming one of them. And at age 17, he did. Seemingly overnight, Hipgrave was thrust into a culture of machismo and stone-faced pride.

“I came into the professional NRL system, which was obviously a high testosterone environment. It was very normal to just not talk about whatever was going on (with your mental health), and I hated that,” Keegan tells me. “You’re just kind of going off the older players’ attitudes, and what they do. I’ve definitely seen it change over the years, but at the time, not talking about your problems and not being vulnerable was a wider issue.”

It was an issue that hit all too close to home for Keegan in the most devastating of fashions. A year after entering the system, the rising NRL star lost one of his best friends in a shocking tragedy that left a lasting emotional scar. Regan Grieve died by suicide hours after an Australia Day gathering with friends, where, by all accounts, he seemed happy. As Keegan explains, it was a wake-up call.

The Paradox

As tragic as this story is, it’s not especially uncommon: according to Suicide Prevention Australia, one in two people are impacted by suicide by the time they turn 25, and men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women.

The stats on suicide can be a bit paradoxical, though.

Women make up a larger population of people living with depression and anxiety than men, and are up to twice as likely to attempt suicide. But men are more likely to take their own lives, often choosing more ‘lethal’ methods with less chance of survival.

It’s known as the ‘Gender Paradox of Suicide‘, and it still hasn’t quite been explained, but given men’s history of self-repression, self-isolation, as well as being less likely to talk to a professional (less than half of men who die by suicide are diagnosed with a mental health disorder), it’s possible men’s rates of depression, and suicidial ideation, are underreported.

To cope, many men turn to alternative methods of medicating, such as drugs and alcohol, which often exacerbate suicidal tendencies. These compounding factors tend to mean that men make one fatal attempt at suicide, whereas women are more likely to choose less violent methods, such as overdosing, which are less likely to lead to death, and may end up making several attempts over the course of their lifetime.

It’s clear that, as men, we need to talk more openly about our struggles and vulnerabilities to receive the help and support we need.

Keegan wanted to be part of the conversation, but what initially started as an interest in mental health and working with Movember took a left turn when, at age 24, he was medically retired from the NRL. At the time he had thought he had years left in the game, with aspirations of representing Queensland in the State of Origin, or Australia internationally, but was left directionless after one-too-many knocks left him unable to play professionally.

“I had to figure out what was next,” he says. “I wanted to have the tools to help my friends and family, so I decided to go back to school and study psychology. I’m very fortunate to have a bunch of friends in the sporting world, not just in NRL but in netball, Super Rugby, cricket, and Olympics.”

Keegan & Co.

In 2023, Keegan kicked off a weekly podcast, Keegan & Co., which he uses to delve into the cross section of sport and mental health, the issues surrounding the often hyper-focused lives of professional athletes, as well as ways that his guests (almost exclusively athletes themselves) have learned to deal with these challenges.

From conversations with Matildas footballer Mary Fowler about what she learned through recovering from a major injury while overcoming her self-doubt to former soccer player Jake Baker-Daish opening up about a battle with addiction following his own retirement from the highs of professional sports, Hipgrave & Co. tends to focus on how each individual responds differently to their own circumstances and the lessons you can take away.

The goal, Keegan says, is to help break down the underlying stigma of mental health more broadly, and show people that everyone can struggle, from surfers, to footy players, to Olympians, but that there’s also a light at the end of the tunnel. After speaking to more than 100 guests, he noticed a few commonalities in how people tend to get through difficult periods.

“I think one common thread I’ve seen is in having a good support network,” he says. “Having the right people around you seems to be a really common thing. When my guests are opening up, the first thing they often talk about are the people who are there for them and are helping them through it: the circles you knock around in are really important.”

Plus, focusing on physical activity, nutrition, and sleep hygiene is an incredibly valuable habit to maintain when you’re going through a difficult mental period.

“They’re cliches, but they’re cliches because they work.”

One thing that Keegan has observed through his own lived experience is the benefits of feeling as though you’re living your life aligned with your personal values and purpose.

“My main job is working for the Rugby League Players’ Association, and I specifically work with a lot of players transitioning out of the game, or who don’t have contracts for the following season, and there tends to be a lot of anxiety around what comes next,” he explains.

“On the flip side, when someone is really excited about what they’re doing next, there’s this energy about it – they’re passionate, and you can see that they’re living aligned to their purpose. They’re happy, and it’s infectious.”

Be What You Want to See

Beyond his work for the RLPA and his podcast, Keegan is working through his psychology studies to better support people who need help. While he initially saw himself moving into clinical psychology, moving into a research focus is now very much on the cards.

“I’m of a very open mind right now on (what my focus will be),” he says. “I really do believe the universe works in funny ways, and whatever will be will be. I think you can get really caught up chasing and setting goals, but being a bit more open around what will actually happen (is good). If you’d asked me when I was still playing footy if I’d see myself doing this, I wouldn’t have believed you. It’s funny the way the world works.”

If you, or someone you know, suffers thoughts of suicidal ideation, please seek assistance by contacting a trusted healthcare professional or calling Lifeline on 13 11 14.