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A walrus teeth dick and a dick wearing a soldier's helmet with red hairs on top
Art

Aussie Bloke Earns Thousands from Dick Drawing Business

There is nothing better than finding an activity that you love to do, that you’re really good at, and that you can actually make a living at. One could say it’s the dream of all mankind. It’s a dream that Brisbane man Brendan Pearce has managed to fulfil, and as such he can stand as a role model to kids everywhere.

Although he might be less of a role model when you get down to specifics. Because Brendan, you see, has built a successful business out of…uh…drawing…penises.

Don’t pretend you don’t wish you were him.

Yep, for what is really a very reasonable price, Mr Pearce will send you one of his custom phallic sketches, which we absolutely refuse to call “doodles” here.

He can do anything you like with his penises: want a Crocodile Dundee dick? You got it. Want Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking knob? It’s all yours. Want a picture of yourself as a bellend? You came to the right place!

It’s a heartwarming story of good old Aussie knowhow, and it’s even more heartwarming than you might think: the majority of Pearce’s penis proceeds go to the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia.

Drawing dicks, doing good: that’s the Brendan Pearce way. Kudos, mate.

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About the author

About the author
CONTRIBUTOR

Ben Pobjie

Ben Pobjie is an accomplished author, commentator and columnist who specialises in studies of Australian history and culture. A prolific writer, Ben’s work has appeared The Age, New Matilda, King's Tribune, Crikey, The Roar, Meanjin, GQ, Mamamia, The Punch and many others. He also has several books to his name, having published titles Superchef, Surveying the Wreckage, and The Book of Bloke. Additionally, Ben’s work has spilled into the realm of television and comedy, writing for You Have Been Watching on Foxtel and The Unbelievable Truth on Channel Seven, with the media expert appearing frequently on ABC radio, Triple R, 3CR and 2SER.