Urban Dictionary Definitions You Need To Be Using

Our speech and grammar has become so bad that courts have actually referred to the Urban Dictionary to look up definitions of words and names in legal cases. Examples include “nutting”, “jacking someone” and even “grenades” made famous by Jersey Shore. So if the courts are learning new words, we thought you should too. Here are 13 funny Urban Dictionary definitions you need to be using right now.


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Man Stand

The act of a man standing outside a shop while his wife/girlfriend/partner shops inside. Man Standing involves looking into space, at other women, or in the case of multi-story shopping centres, leaning on the railings of an upper floor watching the people below.

I’ve been doing the Man Stand outside T2 for an hour!

Irish Handcuffs

When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.

Hamish O’Maley was in Irish handcuffs last night at the pub. He always had a Guinness in each hand.

Charizarding

When you light a girl’s pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have enough badges to train me”

Charizarding with Jenny was a night I’ll never forget.

Shexting

Texting your friends, loved ones or even your annoying co-workers whilst taking a dump on the porcelain throne. Shitting plus texting equals shexting.

Robert got an important text while shitting, so was forced to use the shexting method

Bye Felicia

When someone says that they’re leaving and you could really give two shits less that they are. Their name then becomes “Felicia”, a random bitch that nobody is sad to see go. Their real name becomes irrelevant because nobody cares what it really is. Instead, they now are “Felicia”.

“Hey guys I’m gonna go”
“Bye Felicia”
“Who is Felicia?”
“Exactly Bitch. buh bye.”

Sporking

The act of spooning with the addition of an erection.

We fell asleep… then when I woke up in the morning, he was totally sporking me!

Clutch Oven

To fart in a car full of people, crank the heat for maximum effectiveness.

Mike was driving us to Jake’s party and he farted, trapping us in his clutch oven

Clam Jam

The female equivalent to the cock block.

Tina thought she had this guy at a party, but her friend completely clam jammed her by mentioning she was pregnant in front of him.

Screwvenir

Anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone’s house after you’ve slept with them.

Laura didn’t really like doing it with Chip so much, but she did nab a copy of Time Magazine with Mick Jagger on it from his house as a screwvenir.

Beef Walk

Going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequence.

Person A: “Where did you just go?” 
Person B: “I had to go on a beef walk, Nandos for lunch gave me the Peri Peri farts”

Chipmunking

The act of watching numerous recorded university lectures at 2x speed in a futile attempt to cover an entire semesters material the day before the final exam.

“Have you studied for tomorrows exam?” 
“Nah, I’m chipmunking all the lectures tonight.”

Fucker’s Remorse

When after having sex with a person one starts to feel shame, disgust, or regret regarding the sex act and wishes they hadn’t committed to it.

Upon waking up next to a donkey, still hung over, Jim starts to remember last night’s events and has a serious case of fucker’s remorse.

Resting Douche Face

Similar to the resting bitch face. when a guy just looks like an asshole but he’s actually a nice guy with a face of a complete douche.