Audio Porn is a Real Thing

What is the biggest complaint that porn viewers have about their experience? Unrealistic dialogue? Difficult-to-replicate positions? The strange prevalence of videos predicated on the belief that stepfamilies are the hottest thing in the world?

Or is it that perennial beef: that porn videos are just too visual and all the stuff you can see is distracting you from the real show: the audio?

Well, a couple of enterprising pornsters have gotten together to address this pressing problem. OK, they don’t put it quite like that, but Dick Twitch and Venus Flytrap – we have no information on whether these are their real names – did object to the neglect of aural titillation in most porn productions. Their response: to create a new porn project dedicated entirely to the stimulation of the ears – via sound, that is. Not by, like, tickling them or anything.

Fuck Me In The Ear offers “titillating, immersive audio experiences” for anyone whose turn-ons go beyond the purely visual. And let’s face it: some sexy audio can be just as exciting as video, when done right. We all know that porn with the sound turned down loses a certain je ne sais quoi – Dick and Venus’s site will answer the question as to whether the same is true of porn with the vision turned down.

There seems no doubt that audio porn can be a success – if not, why would phone sex be a thing?