The Unofficial Rules of Australia are just that – your unofficial guide to Aussie mannerisms that go beyond simply adding a vowel to everyone’s name – we’re looking at you ‘Robbo’. The guide includes such gems as tong clacking, bag slapping, and beer shouts at your local. Our 11 suggestions below are just some of the best from our friends at the r/Australia Reddit Group who consistently bring us such gems as Glady Bird and the classic 11 am Gladys Candle. Let’s check them out.
The ‘Unofficial Rules of Australia’ According to Reddit
Reddit has officially uncovered the ‘Unofficial Rules of Australia’ and there’s a lot to look through, but we’re breaking down 11 of the most important rules below. We recommend strapping in and checking out a few yourself before sharing your findings with your mates and friends overseas who need a little lesson in Aussie manners.
1. Check the Tongs
There’s only one way to know if the snag turners are working, give them a clack.
Also adds a level of superiority/ dominance over those watching, essentially implying that you really know how to cook a quality snaggle. Once you’re done asserting dominance, go after your children/ dogs with them and scare their socks off.
2. Wave to Say ‘Thanks’ in Traffic
The thankyou wave is essential, whenever some d*ckhead (that means legend) lets you in.
Most importantly, the classic one finger off the wheel g’day is used on unsealed roads or when you find yourself out in the sticks, that is of course unless you drive a European 4WD instead of a 79-Series Landcruiser with a Tuffbar like any self-respecting fella would, then you’ll often get the ‘straight-ahead stare’. Just Aussie things.
3. The Tug of Confidence
If you find yourself in the Bunnings trade lane, loading some H4 with Occy Straps, looking like a proper numpty, make sure the fella on the gate with the button sees you give the load a ‘tug of confidence’. You’ll really look like you do this on the regular, maybe give it a shake while you’re at it champ.
4. First Rule of Bunnings
Aside from securing your load with a light tug make sure you chin check any bags of soil or rice at Woolies.
Extra points for always rubbing the fake grass to make sure it’s soft as one Redditor pointed out.
5. Life in Danger? She’ll Be Right Mate.
A special shoutout to those in Brisbane currently affected by the historic and deadly floods.
As one Redditor pointed out, the safety media surrounding life-threatening occasions such as floods (e.g. “If it’s flooded, forget it”) is designed to combat our “she’ll be right” attitude.
6. Righto Tiger
Forgot some blokes name? Then *insert non-threatening title here* and either piss him off no end, or leave it up to him to remind that his name is Greg, and then immediately forget it again. Refer to someone as “old mate” if you can’t remember his name, but he wasn’t very nice so you don’t care anyway. If alcohol is being consumed, avoid this at all costs.
7. Bus Rule Number One
Always thank the Driver, the same goes for a cabbie.
If sitting in complete awkward silence, wait for someone in a Dual-cab ute to tailgate you or cut you off before exclaiming together “what a f**ken dickhead.” That will surely lighten the mood.
8. Answer Your Own Question
For example, “Hot today isn’t it.”
See the thread above for more classics.
9. Always Check Your Shoes
If your parents didn’t teach you this, they didn’t teach you well.
The Sydney Funnel Web Spider is the most dangerous in the country and they love hiding out in your shoes. Also, we recommend smashing them together, don’t shove your hand in them like a pleb. Finally, tip them out as spiders always fall out like sand, yeah.
10. First Meatpie Rule
Just don’t look inside, trust us.
11. But Above All Other Rules
You’d have to be a total dog to leave before you shout.
Others include; don’t change glass sizes either like a total tight arse, don’t calculate your individual bill when splitting, and always check out the whole pub menu knowing you’re going to order the parmi/parma anyway.
Is there a rule you think should be on there? Check out the full Reddit thread via the link below.