There is nothing better than great foreplay. Read that again. Then go tell your friends.
Foreplay is the flirt, the lust, the hunger for more that comes right before sex and results in throbbing between the legs that must receive attention. Unfortunately, much too often we can rush right past it.
Here are our tips for making foreplay as delicious and pleasurable for her… without the blue balls for yourself.
1. Know it Will Take Her Longer
The number one rule of foreplay (and sex for that matter) is not to rush it. If you’re going to commit to learning the skills of foreplay, be sure to carve out some time to do it right. A slow weekend wake-up or an evening after a (not too stressful) day at work is perfect.
The reason for this is because the longer foreplay goes for, the more heightened the senses and drive for climax will be. For women, this takes a little longer because we’re juggling the mental load of work to do lists, family pick-ups, relationship management, housekeeping, etc.
This is why it’s a nice idea to start outside the bedroom by sending a dirty text about what you want to do to her. For women to become aroused, a mental shift is often required. Give her the time to get there while having some fun along the way with foreplay.
2. Use Every Inch of Her – and Yourself
The best sex I’ve ever had was when the guy touched every.single.inch of my body as though he was hungry for it. That appreciation for ‘whole body fucking’ is a sentiment reflected by most women and drives us wild when used in foreplay.
Start with some light finger trails across the thighs and in between her legs. Use your lips to kiss her breasts and then flick and lick her nipples. Play ‘footsies’ with your toes as you intertwine your legs. Push your hard penis against her back and her arse, but not going in all the way. Grab her hands and put them on her chest so she can feel your heart speeding up behind. Look in her eyes like you just have to have her – hungry with desire. Make the minutes you do each of these steps stretch longer and longer until you’re both throbbing for more.
3. Bring in Some Sensory Toys
There’s no reason you need to go about foreplay on your lonesome. Check with her if she’s happy to introduce some sensory toys into the bedroom and then start collecting.
You can use items from around the home or head to the store. Here are some ideas…
From the house:
- Ice cubes used around the nipples and labia.
- Champagne dribbled on the stomach and licked up by yourself.
- Ties or socks used to tie her hands behind her while you tease her with.
- A soft cotton swap brushed across her skin so light she can barely feel it.
From the store:
- A cock ring placed on yourself and turned on low (if a vibrating one).
- A blindfold to block one sense so she can feel the other four at a heightened level.
- A body candle whose hot wax can drip and tantalise while she’s blindfolded.
- Chocolate body sauce sounds kinky but is great for a special occasion.
4. Communicate Both Ways
Listen to what she’s responsive to and continue doing that. You will know she likes it if she moans, moves her body toward you more, and if she warms up and self-lubricates. If you’re unsure – ask her. A simple, ‘do you like that, baby?’ will get you all the answers you need.
The same goes for you. If you are getting so excited you feel you may not last much longer, tell her to slow it right down. If you want to incorporate some sexy role play, costumes or fantasies into the foreplay, ask if she would like to dress up for you.
Whatever you want and however you both feel during foreplay and intercourse, communication will make the experience (and the next one!) much better.
5. Test and Tease Yourself a Little More Each Time
Made it through 5 mins of foreplay before you had to give in and get down and dirty? Great job! Next time try for 10 minutes. And then 20. And then an hour, half a day, two days. A weekend of foreplay before you finally put P-in-V Sunday evening? Intense and ecstatic.
BARE Sexology provides the hottest tips for great sex and positive relationships. Get your pleasure at @baresexology.