Now that the dust has settled on the ‘new year, new me’ energy of 2023, are you still working on your intentions? At the start of any new year, there’s always a lot of fresh energy and inspiration to set resolutions in different areas of our lives – from health & fitness to money and career. But, what about your sex resolutions? It’s too often a part of our lives that we neglect, or put at the bottom of our list, but setting some goals when it comes to intimacy and your sex life can be a really healthy way to prioritise your pleasure in 2023. So, let’s explore just how you can create your own sexy resolutions and stick to them throughout the year.
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Yes / No / Maybe List
To get the ideas flowing, start by taking some time to create what is known as a Yes/No/Maybe list. This is a list of sexual positions, moves and fantasies that you can go through on your own or with a lover to decipher what you might be into.
As the name suggests, you can answer yes, no or maybe for each activity. ‘Yes’ for all the things you’re definitely into, you know you already enjoy or are really keen to try. ‘No’ is for those sexual activities that you have no interest in. These are hard boundaries and are really important for you to know about yourself and your partner so you’re aware of where the line is and can be respectful of one another’s desires and turn-offs.
‘Maybe’ is for those things that you aren’t sure about – you’re interested to maybe test the waters, but you don’t know if it’s something you’ll like or not. Once you try a ‘maybe’, you can then see if it belongs in the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ column. You can find many examples of such lists with a simple google search, knowing that you’re welcome to add anything to your list at any time as you get more ideas.
Sexy Jar of Ideas
Once you’ve created your list, a fun way to keep up the inspiration throughout the year is to write out all the things from the yes and maybe columns of your list, and pop them into a special jar. Then, on regular date nights you can choose something from the jar to explore to keep your sex-life feeling fresh and fun. Novelty is a really important factor in keeping the spark alive in sexual relationships, so this is a surefire way to keep things hot.
Monthly Date Nights
Perhaps a resolution is to be more intentional about your sex life. If not, I highly recommend you add it to your list. Being really considered and thoughtful when it comes to everything that surrounds sex is a great way to honour the connection between you and your partner. After all, sex is about so much more than just getting off. It’s about intimacy, deep connection, building trust and the exploration of each other’s pleasure potential.
Particularly if you’re in a relationship with a woman, the mental, emotional and intellectual stimulation and build up is just as important (if not more so) than the physical side. So take some time to plan some romantic date nights that will make her feel seen, respected and truly cherished. A slow build-up and an intimate connection are super important factors in helping your girl feel safe and secure to open up to pleasure.
Role Play
Getting into character can be a huge turn-on and add some much-needed novelty and excitement to your sex life. Perhaps during your yes/no/maybe list, discuss some of your fantasies with your lover and see which types of scenes you’re both interested in playing out. It’s always helpful to have an agreement about when, where and how you intend for the role play to go down. Chatting logistics beforehand can help set the scene and avoid any unwanted surprises.
Recreate your favourite erotic scene
Not sure where to start when it comes to role play? Or maybe you want to try some new moves but aren’t sure which ones? A really sexy date idea is to share your favourite erotica with your lover – be it written, audio or visual porn – and get to work recreating the scene for yourselves.
Add to your pleasure toolkit
Get together with your lover and either visit a sex store or get the laptop out and peruse online shops for a new pleasure tool or two to add to your collection. Chat about the types of sex toys you’d like to try and ask questions about your lover’s desires, being open to exploration. Once you’ve got your new sex toy in hand, it’s time to play!
There’s such a wide world of pleasure possibilities to be discovered, and 2023 is the year for you to unlock it. Remember that sex is meant to be fun, so don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. You might just discover orgasmic potential you never knew you had.
Eleanor Hadley is a Sensuality Coach and Sex Educator, specialising in & sensual movement and embodied lap dance. Through 1:1 coaching, group programs, retreats, workshops, writing and speaking, Eleanor is passionate about helping you to enhance your sex life and elevate your relationships.
