So you’ve managed to convince the boss to let you work from home but that pesky status bar on your email keeps switching from active to idle, rudely interrupting your attempts to catch up on Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power or Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon. What can you do? Enter the mouse jiggler (or mouse mover), the very latest in work-skiving innovation, which is designed to keep your mouse (and online status) active, freeing you up to get lost in your fantasy TV series of choice.
Whether you’re logging in at home or commuting into the office, the modern work environment has become one of constant surveillance, as employees are monitored for productivity and operate under the inherent threat that they’d better act like good little drones lest they find themselves penalised for being away from their work stations for too long – spend more than three minutes in the bathroom and see if you don’t get some filthy looks on your way back to your desk. It’s for this reason that the mouse jiggler is such a breakthrough invention.
Completely undetectable (for now) by your computer or your workplace’s Orwellian monitoring systems, the mouse jiggler keeps your cursor on the move, preventing your computer from going into sleep mode, leaving your boss none the wiser about the comfy groove you’ve made for yourself on the couch. Set up is easy, just plug the jiggler into the USB port on your computer, turn it on and you’re away. Having said that, if your employer monitors the number of taps on your keyboard you may need to implement a Homer Simpson-style drinking bird to regularly tap away at the letter Y.
While the mouse jiggler is a game changer when it comes to ensuring there’s a green light next to your name every time your manager checks in, we’d still recommend checking your email every once in a while, just to make sure you don’t miss an email from them marked “urgent”.
There are a range of mouse jigglers available online, but we quite like the Vaydeer linked below for its affordability and 12-month warranty, although Vaydeer makes no guarantees if your boss catches you using it.
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