Amazon’s “Crappy” New Headquarters

When nature calls you better be ready. That’s what Amazon is thinking with its insane new headquarters that some keen-eyed observers are likening to a glass poop emoji covered in green. Looks like Arlington, Virginia got the wrong end of the proverbial stick.

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Despite the addition of greenery and glass, there’s no avoiding the comparison between Amazon HQ2 and the swirling poop emoji. Expected to reach a height of 350-feet tall, according to The Wall Street Journal, “the Helix” as Amazon is calling it, is a swirling glass tower covered in trees that rises to a point above the rest of the city’s skyline. Taking inspiration from “the natural beauty of a double helix,” the building will incorporate two sets of two walkable paths of landscaped terrain that will spiral up the building’s exterior. Just remember to bring a water bottle if you plan to make the hike from top to bottom.

The proposed development will be a “variety of alternative work environments” for Amazon employees to “work and invent for our customers.” With 2.8 million square feet of new office space distributed across three 22-story buildings proposed, the new Amazon workspaces will prioritise collaborative areas, natural light, alongside “a constant interaction with nature.”

Designed by architecture firm NBBJ, Amazon HQ2 is made to promote “well-being and physical exercise, agency (the ability for employees to choose when, how, and where to work), and a strong connection with the local community.” Coupled with public spaces that are pedestrian-focused and bicycle-friendly, the second phase of its Arlington, Virginia headquarters might not be as shitty as its emoji comparison made it out to be.

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