Jay Alvarrez’ New Biography Video is Just as Insufferable as Ever

Testing[/caption]We’ve said nice things about Jay Alvarrez before on this very website, so for consistency’s sake I should probably be keeping it neutral. But honestly, it’s getting tiresome. His latest offering, titled “Jay in The Simulation”, dropped overnight and frankly, the same shots of Mykonos, LA, Hawaii, Dubai and Bali are starting to wear thin.

car stunt

With the usual mash-up of white-ass buildings and blue-ass water, skydiving, G-Wagens, surf, friends, hot girls, skydiving, skating, jumping off piers, skydiving and mansions, Jay has managed to recycle loads of clips from his previous few videos and re-package it with the whole “this is how I got my start” angle. There’s also a fair bit of footage of his ex-girlfriend Alexis Ren, and given the very public nature of their tumultuous break-up, I doubt she’d be too thrilled with that. I’ll come back to that in a second.

sky diving

Now, before I get pilloried for failing to mention the emotional side of this video, the fact that Jay talks about losing his mother last year, I’d like to point out that yes, this is an incredibly sad thing to happen to anybody.

But I also proffer that it hardly has anything to do with jumping out of planes above Dubai, riding around in G-Wagens and having shower-sex, before slurping Coca-Cola. I’m not saying it’s a grab for sympathy, but it seems like a weird inclusion for a clip that is essentially in the same vein of hyped-up self-indulgence as his few other videos.

sleeping time

The screengrabs included here should give you enough of an idea of what to expect – his commentary and subtitles are a deep insight into the shallow depths of his 22-year-old thought process. And they’re in the same weird fake-deep voice that I put on when I have to interview someone famous over the phone, which is honestly so transparent. Alvarrez claims to have left home at 15, with not a penny to his name and–why they always use this word is beyond me–would “hustle” and do “anything and everything to get by”. Fair play, he’s now raking it in. Which brings me to the point of his ex-girlfriend Alexis and how she might feel about the whole thing.

facebook info

In a not-so-subtle humblebrag in the clip, he talks about how he “couldn’t believe it the paychecks just kept getting bigger”, while panning across what appears to be a preliminary agreement between both himself and Ren (when they were still a happy couple, no doubt) and Universal Pictures, to promote a series of animated films through their respective channels. The bright spark had the foresight to remove Alexis’ name from next to the $150,000 fee cited on the agreement. Bulletproof, right? Just take a look at that form and see if you can’t spot her name anywhere else. I’ll give you a minute (hint: I circled it in red. And the wider shot includes it even more often).

I don’t know how others feel about having their financial affairs broadcast to the public, but I would be a little shirty about the whole affair, were I Alexis Ren.

ice-cream sharing

Perhaps a mere oversight, but a weird thing to include in a video that’s supposed to highlight your humble beginnings.

Look, overall I’m sure Jay is a top bloke. I just find this particular breed of online content painful to watch, and to be honest pretty repetitive. With Jay now back in Hawaii, having just bought a surf house on the beach, let’s hope he finds a new hobby that doesn’t involve punishing the rest of the internet with his smug brand of videography. Though I seriously doubt it.

kissing snake

lake swimming

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